Thursday, March 31, 2016

Five Page Stories - Ex Factor - Page 4

Start from the beginning.

1 - Belok sits on the couch along with all of the box's contents, which he has emptied.  There is no spear.  He looks up to Ashling, who stands to the side.

BELOK (1): This is great, but was there a spear with all this?

BELOK (2): I'm looking for a spear.

2 - Ashling looks down at him, taken aback.

ASHLING: Wait, do you mean the one you gave me for my birthday?

3 - Closer on Ashling, as her surprise shifts back to frustration.

ASHLING: After our day exploring the Crystal Caves of Wonder?

4 - Back on Belok.  He's crazy excited at what he's hearing, completely missing the subtext.

BELOK: That's the one!

5 - On both.  Belok wears a big dumb smile, not understanding why his question might be inappropriate; Ashling's frustration is on the edge of anger.

BELOK: Would you mind?

6 - On Ashling, full on glaring.


7 - Back outside at the front door to Ashling's manor / castle.  Belok runs out the door at full speed, a look of terror on his face.


8 - A spear flies through the air - maybe instead of background have some speed lines to show how fast it's going.


9 - Ashling now stands at the door, shaking her fist and shouting at Belok (who is now off-panel and gone).  She is furious.

ASHLING: And don't come back!

Next page.

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