Friday, December 2, 2016

Noirvember - Free Lunch - Page 5

Start from the beginning.

1 - On Randall as he gets puts his hands up in an attempt to placate Charles.

RANDALL (1): Okay, I get it.

RANDALL (2): You can keep watch out here.

2 - Randall is up the stairs at the doorway on the second level, a gun drawn.  He looks down at Charles, who is rolling his eyes and munching on the bread.

RANDALL: But I'll get the bigger share.

3 - Randall kicks in the door.  In the background, Charles searches through his coat.


4 - Randall is inside and out of view.  Charles has pulled out a phone that he is talking on as he walks out of the alley.

CHARLES: Hello, 911?

5 - Shot of the neighbourhood.  Maybe we're jumping forward in time as some cop cars race towards Chez Edgar.

CAPTION (CHARLES): I'd like to report a robbery.

Thursday, December 1, 2016

Noirvember - Free Lunch - Page 4

Start from the beginning.

1 - Randall is off the curb and heading off-panel.  Charles looks after him in surprise, starting to following.

RANDALL: But Edgar does.


2 - Randall is heading into an alley beside the restaurant, with Charles following behind.  Frame from inside the alley looking out, so Randall and Charles are moving towards the reader.  Randall looks confident, while Charles looks dismissive.

CHARLES: You're planning to rob a restaurant?

RANDALL: Not a restaurant...

3 - On a doorway up on the second level in the alley, with some stairs leading up to it.

RANDALL (off-panel): The owner who lives upstairs.

4 - Randall moves close to Charles, speaking to him in a conspiratorial manner.  Charles cocks an eyebrow, suspicious of the idea.

RANDALL: It's perfect. The old man doesn't believe in banks. He keeps everything he's got in a safe in the bedroom.

5 - Randall turns and mimes kicking down a door, his arms flailing about in what he thinks looks like kung-fu.  Charles is off-panel.

RANDALL: We'll kick in the door, make some noise, and be out with your money before anyone's the wiser.

CHARLES (off-panel): Funny...

6 - On Charles at the mouth of the alley.  His arms are crossed, unconvinced (note he should still be holding the bread in one hand, as of yet untasted).

CHARLES: I seem to recall the last time you said something like that I ended up in jail.

Next page.

Wednesday, November 30, 2016

Noirvember - Free Lunch - Page 3

Start from the beginning.

1 - Randall and Charles are sitting on the curb near the restaurant.  Randall has one hand in his inside jacket pocket, reaching for something; he holds a mostly eaten piece of bread with his other hand.  Charles looks attentively.


2 - Randall pulls out another piece of bread.  Charles looks disappointed, if not surprised.


3 - Randall cautiously offers the bread to Charles.  Charles hangs his head in disappointment, not looking at Randall.


4 - Charles puts out his hand to accept the bread, although he continues to hang his head.

CHARLES: You don't have the money you owe, do you?

5 - On the sign to Chez Edgar.  Neither Randall nor Charles are visible.

RANDALL (off-panel): Not as such, no.

Next page.

Tuesday, November 29, 2016

Noirvember - Free Lunch - Page 2

Start from the beginning.

1 - The waitress stomps away, unimpressed with Randall's miserly behaviour.  Randall looks towards the entrance and gives a big, happy wave to his friend Charles, who is still off-panel.


2 - Randall is up and out of his chair, heading towards Charles, who has not made it to his table yet.  Randall takes the napkin from his collar and puts it on the table.  Charles looks a little confused.  Some of the other diners may look up from their meals to see what the fuss is about.

RANDALL: Thank god you're here!

3 - Randall puts his arm around Charles' shoulders and steers him towards the entrance of the restaurant, heading out.  Randall looks pleased as punch; Charles is a tad bewildered; the waitress from before looks on from the background, seething.

RANDALL: I was worried I was going to have to order something

4 - Randall and Charles stand outside the restaurant.  Chez Edgar is on the ground level of a block of buildings in a gentrifying neighbourhood.  There are other stores and restaurants about and apartment buildings above these storefronts.  Charles stops and looks annoyed.  Randall reaches into his jacket, a knowing look on his face.

CHARLES: Wait, why did you even want to meet here if we weren't planning on staying?

RANDALL: Are you kidding?

5 - Close on Randall and Charles.  Randall has pulled out a dinner roll from his jacket and takes a big bite out of it; Charles looks even less impressed than before.

RANDALL: Their bread is unreal!

Next page.

Monday, November 28, 2016

Noirvember - Free Lunch - Page 1

We open on four small panels, showing off different scenes in a fancy restaurant.

1 - A couple - who are dressed to the nines - share a laugh at their well appointed table.


2 - Close on a wine bottle being opened by one of the wait staff.


3 - Close on a menu that one of the patrons are perusing.  The restaurant's name "Chez Edgar" is written in embossed letters on the front in fancy type.


4 - A waitress walks towards a table holding some sumptuous looking plates of food.


5 - Move to an establishing shot of the restaurant interior.  It is very chic, with mood lighting.  The bar may be visible in the background.  Either way, every table is full.  Every table, that is, except for the one that is the focus of the panel.  Randall, dressed in a shabby suit with a loosely done tie (which is hidden by the napkin he has tucked into the collar of his shirt to from a temporary bib) and questionable facial hair, sits alone at a table for two, munching on a dinner roll as he lounges about.  A half drunk glass of water and dinner roll basket sits on his table.  The waitress from the previous panel has come up and is trying to take an order.

WAITRESS: Sir? Are you sure you wouldn't like order something while you wait for your friend?

RANDALL: Naw, I'm good with the water, thanks.

6 - Move in closer to the pair.  Randall pops the last of the roll into his mouth and reconsiders the waitress' proposal further.  She continues to stand at attention.

RANDALL: Well, now that you mention it...

7 - Close on the empty dinner roll basket.  Randall has picked it up and shows it to the waitress.

RANDALL (off-panel): Could I get some more of this bread?

Next page.

Friday, November 25, 2016

Noirvember - Paint the Town - Page 5

Start from the beginning.

1 - Alyssa stands outside the door to her house, struggling to unlock it in her panic.  She's looking around, trying to see if anyone has followed her.


2 - Alyssa is inside, leaning against the door she has closed behind her.  She finally relaxes a bit.

ALYSSA: Warren?  You here?

WARREN (off-panel): In the living room.

3 - Alyssa walks along the hall towards the living room.  Maybe she keeps a hand to the wall to help balance herself.

ALYSSA (1): Oh, God.  It was awful--

ALYSSA (2): I took the shortcut.

4 - Warren and the serious looking gentleman sit on chairs in the middle of the living room, calmly looking towards the reader (and Alyssa, who may or may not be visible in the panel's foreground).  Like in the garage, the living room light kind of spotlights the serious looking gentleman (and also Warren this time) and a number of figures stand in the periphery, slightly obscured.

WARREN: I know.

Thursday, November 24, 2016

Noirvember - Paint the Town - Page 4

Start from the beginning.

1 - The serious looking gentleman stands over the body of the now dead man, blocking most of him from the reader's view (although not all).  A tire rolls into frame from the bottom of the panel.  One of the figures on the periphery points towards the door.  The serious looking gentleman turns (as do others) to look in the same direction.

FIGURE: What was that?

2 - On the entrance / corner where Alyssa had been spying on them.  She's gone, leaving a knocked over pile of tires as evidence of her presence.

FIGURE (off-panel): Someone's here!

3 - On Alyssa, running in the alley between buildings towards the back of the lot.  Maybe frame from above, with the buildings as part of the gutter (or an addition to).


4 - Alyssa is up and climbing over a chain-link fence.


5 - Close on a hand grabbing Alyssa's ankle.  Maybe don't have any background to emphasize this moment.


6 - Alyssa kicks the person grabbing her ankle in the face, causing them to let go.


7 - Alyssa runs off.  Frame so the fence is between the reader and her, leaving the chain-link pattern covering the whole panel.


Next page.