Monday, November 30, 2015

Noirvember - If on a Winter's Night - Page 30

1 - Outside.  Pitor and Joseph leave the bar, walking off into the night.  It has stopped snowing, but no clearing has yet been done.  The sidewalk is a carpet of untouched down (save for where the two have already stepped).


2 - A street in the neighbourhood.  It's late enough that nothing's open, although some store lights remain on (as do the street lights).  Once again, the snow on the sidewalks is untouched.  There's perhaps some tracks on the street from cars that have passed, but there's no movement.


3 - Repeat the establishing shot of page 1, panel 1.  The river and bridge remain the focus.  There are still lights from buildings, cars, and signs, but perhaps less than there were before.  As in the other panels of the page, snow covers the world.


Start from the beginning.

Sunday, November 29, 2015

Noirvember - If on a Winter's Night - Page 29

1 - Simon holds Amy, who smiles weakly.
LETTERING NOTE: Amy's word balloon should be wavy and / or straggly to reflect her weakened state.

AMY: So much... for Piotr's good mood...

2 - Amy's head lolls backwards as she passes.


3 - Simon looks up, furious.  Tears stream down his face as he still holds Amy's body.  Piotr is crouched in the foreground, collecting the money and the duffle bags (this action does not need to be clear on this panel).

SIMON: What's wrong with you?!  She didn't do anything!

PIOTR: Da, but you did.

4 - Piotr and Joseph stand, each holding a duffle bag.  They face away from Simon and Amy.

PIOTR: Good luck with mess.  And with explaining to militsiya.

SIMON: You'll pay for this!

5 - Piotr stops at the door, turning back to look at Simon.  A look of sadness is on Piotr's face.

SIMON (off-panel): You'll fucking pay!

Onto page 30.

Start from the beginning.

Noirvember - If on a Winter's Night - Page 28

1 - Close on Simon's still tightly shut eyes.


2 - His eyes open slightly.


3 - His eyes are looking down, surprised at what they see.


4 - Pull back to reveal Simon looking down at his completely unhurt self.  He can't quite process what he's seeing.

AMY (off-panel): Simon...

5 - On Amy, who has been shot in the stomach.  She bleeds freely, one hand on the wound and the other held up so she can look at all the blood covering it.  She is in shock.


6 - Amy loses consciousness, falling towards the floor.  Simon races over towards her.


Onto page 29.

Start from the beginning.

Saturday, November 28, 2015

Noirvember - If on a Winter's Night - Page 27

1 - On Piotr as he holds a gun similar to Winston's, drawn and aimed in Simon's direction.


2 - On Simon's face.  His eyes are tightly shut.  He grimaces.  Perhaps he turns his head slightly, as if turning away could help.  Maybe even a tear streaming down his face if that isn't too much.


3 - On Piotr's gun, the trigger being pulled.

SFX: clik!

4 - On Simon.  He flinches like crazy, putting up his arms in a useless act of self-defense.
LETTERING NOTE: I'd love it if there could be a big BLAM! covering pretty much the whole panel, with Simon standing in front of it, to illustrate the sound, violence, and so forth of the gun shot.


Onto page 28.

Start from the beginning.

Thursday, November 26, 2015

Noirvember - If on a Winter's Night - Page 26

1 - Close on Simon's eyes, narrowing in determination / anger.


2 - Close on the gun, specifically the trigger, as Simon pulls it back.  A small clik! emerges.

SFX: clik!

3 - On Simon and Piotr.  Simon looks very worried as he continues to pull the trigger to no result.  Piotr is also surprised, but he doesn't let it show too much.
LETTERING NOTE: Have the three clik!s stacked vertically, if you would.

SFX: clik!  clik!  clik!

4 - Simon turns the gun on its side and looks at it, as if seeing it for the first time.  Piotr looks impressed / surprised.

PIOTR: I am impressed you pulled trigger.

5 - Piotr reaches into his jacket, presumably grabbing his own weapon.

PIOTR: I am sorry for your sake it did not work.

Onto page 27.

Start from the beginning.

Wednesday, November 25, 2015

Noirvember - If on a Winter's Night - Page 25

1 - Simon stands with the gun raise and pointed at Pitor and Joseph, both of whom have their hands up.  Simon should look awkward as heck - this is not a natural position for him.  Joseph is surprised, but Piotr's expression is neutral and patient.

SIMON: Amy, get over here.

2 - Amy comes around the bar and walks past Simon, tugging at his arm to continue with him.  He resists, remaining in the position of holding up Piotr and Joseph.

AMY: You're right, let's go.

SIMON: Not without the money.

3 - Amy and Simon get into an argument, causing Simon to turn his attention to look towards Amy.

AMY: What?  We need to leave!

SIMON: Pick. Up. The. Money.

PIOTR (off-panel): You should listen to Amaliya.

4 - Simon turns his attention back to Piotr, who has walked closer while Simon was looking elsewhere.  Simon straightens his arms and points the gun right at Piotr's chest.

SIMON: You should shut up and back off.  I'm the one with the gun.

5 - Piotr moves forward so the gun is touching his chest, looming tall over Simon's small and quivering figure.

PIOTR: Da.  But you are without guts to use it.

Onto page 26.

Start from the beginning.

Tuesday, November 24, 2015

Noirvember - If on a Winter's Night - Page 24

1 - Joseph brandishes the brass knuckles menacingly.

JOSEPH: Still want to stand in our way?

2 - Close-up of Simon's hand drawing the gun he took off of Winston from the back of his pants (where they've been tucked all along).

SIMON (off-panel): No...

3 - Simon stands with both hands holding the drawn gun, aiming it at a surprised Joseph (or perhaps at the reader, with no other characters on-panel).

SIMON: I want to stop you cold.

Onto page 25.

Start from the beginning.

Monday, November 23, 2015

Noirvember - If on a Winter's Night - Page 23

1 - Simon, still between Amy and Piotr and Joseph, puts out his arms in a stopping motion to try to slow or stop the pair's advance.

SIMON (1): Leave Amy out of this.  I was the one who wanted that money.  I didn't give a damn about your friend's well-being.

SIMON (2): Hell, Amy wanted to help him, for god's sake!

SIMON (3): So if you're punishing anyone, punish me.

SIMON (4): But let her go.

2 - Piotr and Joseph smile at each other.  There is no warmth in their grins.  Joseph reaches into his inner-coat pocket.

JOSEPH (1): That's some mighty fine sentiment there, friend.

JOSEPH (2): But this is not about punishment.

3 - Close-up as Joseph's fist, now adorned with a pair of brass knucks.

JOSEPH (tailless): ...It's about tying up loose ends.

Onto page 24.

Start from the beginning.

Sunday, November 22, 2015

Noirvember - If on a Winter's Night - Page 22

1 - Simon, still sitting at the table, tries to play it cool.  He's not doing well.

SIMON: N-now, I don't know what you're referring to--

AMY (off-panel): You knew.

2 - Amy at the bar.  She's still pouring the vodka, which is overflowing the glass at this point.  Her terror is mostly replaced by anger.

AMY: You knew all along.

SIMON (off-panel): Amy...

3 - Amy has bent down to grab the bag behind the bar.  Simon approaches the bar to try to get her to stop talking.

SIMON: Amy, calm down--

AMY (interrupting): Why would you put us through all this if you knew?

4 - Amy is back up and throws the duffle bag full of money towards Piotr and Joseph, anger still all over her face.  Simon flinches to get out of the way, although it's not going towards him.

AMY: Why?!

5 - The duffle bag falls short of Piotr and Joseph, spilling its contents all over the floor in front of them.  Piotr looks at it dismissively.

PIOTR: I told you...

6 - Piotr steps over the bag, moving towards Simon and Amy at the bar.  Joseph does likewise, perhaps cracking some knuckles to show how serious he is.

PIOTR (1): You are my favorite employee.

PIOTR (2): I had hoped to be wrong.

Onto page 23.

Start from the beginning.

Saturday, November 21, 2015

Noirvember - If on a Winter's Night - Page 21

1 - Joseph enters the bar.  He is significantly smaller than Piotr, with more of a runner's physique.  Like Pitor before him, he is covered in snow, but he's happy enough to see Piotr that he doesn't immediately clean it off.  He has one arm up in greeting, but the other remains at his side, off-panel.

JOSEPH: Piotr!

2 - Piotr is up and gives Joseph one of his big hugs.  Joseph returns it.

PIOTR (1): So good to see you!

PIOTR (2): I was worried you might not be making it.

3 - Piotr turns to introduce Joseph to Amy and Simon.

PIOTR (1): Amalyia, Semyon, this is Joseph.

PIOTR (2): I believe you have met already our other colleague Winston.

4 - At Joseph's feet is a duffle bag, identical to Winston's.  Simon and Amy are visible to either side in the background, looks of shock and horror on their faces.

PIOTR (off-panel): He had similar bag.

Onto page 22.

Start from the beginning.

Friday, November 20, 2015

Noirvember - If on a Winter's Night - Page 20

1 - Amy tugs at Piotr's arm to try to placate him.  As Piotr is significantly taller than Amy, focus on Amy's face and Piotr's huge arm, with Piotr's face off-panel.

AMY: Come on, Piotr, I'll make your favorite.

2 - On Piotr's face, still glaring angerly.


3 - Piotr turns to look at Amy, his expression softening.  Amy looks back in relief.

PIOTR: Okay.

4 - Piotr sits down as Amy walks off towards the bar.  Simon looks relieved.

SIMON: ...So, if you don't mind me asking, what brings you by so late?

PIOTR: Me?  Am meeting couple of friends after a job.

5 - On Amy at the bar, pouring some vodka into a glass.  She looks up to see a figure outside the door, knocking.

AMY: Looks like we have one now.

SFX: bang! bang!

Onto page 21.

Start from the beginning.

Thursday, November 19, 2015

Noirvember - If on a Winter's Night - Page 19

1- Close-up on a number of empty glasses on a table, focusing on Piotr's current glass (half-empty) and his large hands around it.

PIOTR (off-panel): ...not make habit of it.  You are lucky you are my favorite employee.

2 - On Piotr, Amy, and Simon sitting at one of the bar's tables, drinking.  Piotr is in the process of knocking the rest of his drink back, Amy has had a few herself, and Simon is once again nursing a brew.  Piotr looks to be in high spirits, Amy is relaxed, and Simon is on edge, glancing towards the bar.

AMY: I'm your only employee, Piotr.

PIOTR: That too.

3 - Finish, Piotr slams down his drink.  Simon reacts strongly to Piotr's declaration, a look of terror on his face.

PIOTR (1): Done.

PIOTR (2): I will get more from bar.

SIMON: No!  You can't go there!

4 - Piotr stands up and stares daggers at Simon, looming over the terrified young man.  Amy immediately sobers up a few degrees, realizing things are going south.

PIOTR: Amaliya, did Semyen tell me what I can and cannot do in my bar?

5 - Amy gets up and tries to calm Piotr, a worried look on her face.  Piotr continues to stare at Simon, albeit maybe slightly less intensely.

AMY: No, no, Piotr.  He's just saying you wouldn't want to go there right now.

6 - On the floor behind the bar, focused on Winston's slumped body and the duffle bag full of cash (with perhaps a few packs that have fallen out laying around).

AMY (off-panel): ...we made a bit of a mess earlier and haven't cleaned it up yet.

Onto page 20.

Start from the beginning.

Noirvember - If on a Winter's Night - Page 18

1 - Piotr stands inside the bar, shaking the snow off of his hat and general person.  Piotr is a big Russian guy - bald with a big bushy beard.  Maybe like a serious Zangief from Street Fighter-vibe, should such a thing be possible.

PIOTR: Amaliya!  What is hold up?

2 - Amy stands in front of Piotr, looking kind of awkward.  Simon approaches from the bar (where the duffle bag is no longer visible), looking equally ill at ease.

AMY (1): Uh, sorry, Piotr.  Simon and I have been...

AMY (2): um...

3 - Back on Piotr, who is absolutely beaming.

PIOTR (1): Oh, ho!

PIOTR (2): Were you making the hanky of the panky?

4 - Amy and Simon, now standing next to each other, look at one other, both of them pretty darn surprised and awkward about it.


5 - Amy and Simon kind of put their arms around each other, looking like a really uncomfortable couple.

SIMON: Uh... yeah?

AMY: H-how did you guess?

6 - Piotr swoops in and bear hugs the two, a big smile on his face.

PIOTR (1): Amaliya!  Why did you not tell me you and Semyon were couple?

PIOTR (2): This must be celebrated!

Onto page 19.

Start from the beginning.

Tuesday, November 17, 2015

Noirvember - If on a Winter's Night - Page 17

1 - Back inside the bar, focused on the front door.  While the blinds are down, a figure is clearly visible on the other side, knocking on the glass.  Amy and Simon look on from the bar area.

SFX: bang!  bang!

PIOTR (from outside): Open door, Amaliya!

AMY: Shit.  It's Piotr.

2 - Amy walks towards the door, while Simon grabs her arm to stop her.

SIMON: You're not letting him in, are you?

AMY: It's his bar, Simon.  He has keys.

3 - Amy loosens Simon's grip and moves forward, determined.  Simon looks worried.

SIMON: What's our plan here?

AMY: We hope he's in a good mood.

4 - Close on Amy's hand unlocking the deadbolt.

AMY (off-panel): ...and that he doesn't stay long.

Onto page 18.

Start from the beginning.

Monday, November 16, 2015

Noirvember - If on a Winter's Night - Page 16

1 - Amy stands outside the backdoor of that familiar alley.  She is smoking.  While still dented, the garbage can now sits next to the door, upright and with the garbage bag inside of it (instead of splayed across the ground as they had been previously).


2 - Close on Amy as she finishes the cigarette / flicks it away.


3 - Amy looks directly at the garbage can, a look of puzzlement as she registers its different position from where she last left it.


4 - Similar to panel 3, but Amy looks back towards the door as Simon calls for her, distracted from her garbage-related thoughts.

SIMON (from within) (1): Amy?

SIMON (from within) (2): Things may be getting worse in here!

Onto page 17.

Start from the beginning.

Sunday, November 15, 2015

Noirvember - If on a Winter's Night - Page 15

1 - We're back at the bar, set up like we were on page 4, except Amy is sitting and drinking while Simon is behind the bar.  Amy has a mostly done drink in her hand and a few empty drinks next to that.  Simon looks uncomfortable.  He also has a drink, but it is untouched.  The duffle bag remains on the bartop.


2 - Close on the bar top.  Simon's hand reaches for Amy's.

SIMON (off-panel): Aims...

3 - Amy pulls back her hand and points the other accusingly towards Simon.

AMY: Don't.

4 - Amy is furious; Simon is penitent.  Neither says a word.


5 - Amy gets off the bar stool and walks towards the back.

AMY: You know what?  I need a smoke.

6 - Back on Simon, who looks ashamed as heck.

AMY (off-panel): Try not to make things any worse while I'm outside.

Onto page 16.

Start from the beginning.

Saturday, November 14, 2015

Noirvember - If on a Winter's Night - Page 14

1 - Back inside the bar, Simon and Amy stand behind the bar itself, looking at something on the ground in front of them (not visible due to the bar, of course).  The duffle bag of money remains on the bartop.

SIMON: So...

2 - Switch to an over the shoulder shot between Simon and Amy, looking downwards at Winston's body.  It's slumped on the ground in a pseudo-sitting position.  Winston's body is beatup as heck; it's in a mighty bad way.

SIMON: What do we do now?

Onto page 15.

Start from the beginning.

Friday, November 13, 2015

Noirvember - If on a Winter's Night - Page 13

1 - Simon and Amy both look at Winston's body, a certain amount of dread in their eyes.


2 - Simon and Amy awkwardly drag Winston's body towards the bar's door.


3 - The three figures are gone inside, leaving the garbage can, garbage bag, and Winston's gun lying in the snow.  The bar's door remains open.


4 - Simon peaks outside, looking at the things lying in the snow.


5 - The bar's door is closed.  The garbage can and garbage bag are remain where they were, but Winston's gun is gone.  Snow continues to fall.


Onto page 14.

Start from the beginning.

Thursday, November 12, 2015

Noirvember - If on a Winter's Night - Page 12

1 - Pull back to focus on the entire scene.  Simon is still on the ground, Winston splayed partly next to and partly on top of him.  Amy stands next to the play, holding the (now very badly dented) garbage can.


2 - Amy drops the garbage can, stunned.  Simon pushes Winston's body off of him.


3 - Amy sits down in the snow.  Simon moves over to put his arm around her shoulders, attempting to comfort her.  Winston lies facedown in the snow, unmoving.


Onto page 13.

Start from the beginning.

Wednesday, November 11, 2015

Noirvember - If on a Winter's Night - Page 11

1 - Winston is on top of a prone Simon, punching and beating the heck out of him.  Simon has his arms up to try to protect himself, but it's not helping too much.

WINSTON: Where's the bag?

2 - Insert panel of a hand on a gun.


3 - Winston is still on top of Simon, but he now has a gun under Simon's chin.  Simon is freaking out, his nose bleeding and his lip cut.

WINSTON: Where is it?!

4 - The garbage can is brought down hard on Winston's head - his face goes blank the object lands with such force.  Maybe the background is red or faded out a bit to emphasize this moment.

WINSTON: Where--!

Onto page 12.

Start from the beginning.

Tuesday, November 10, 2015

Noirvember - If on a Winter's Night - Page 10

1 - Back outside in the alley, focused on the spot where Winston's body has been - except the body's not there.  Snow's still falling, but something of an imprint of where he was is still visible, along with a pool of blood, and perhaps the dented garbage can and forgotten garbage bag.


2 - Simon and Amy are standing at the backdoor from the bar, looking in confusion towards the empty space.


3 - Winston charges from the opposite direction, spearing Simon with a brutal tackle (possibly taking Simon off his feet).  Simon does not see it coming at all and is crumpled.  Amy flips out in the background.


Onto page 11.

Start from the beginning.

Noirvember - If on a Winter's Night - Page 9

1 - Simon puts his hands up and motions to Amy to slow down, trying to rein the situation in (and keep alive the possibility of hanging onto the bag of money longer).

SIMON (1): Whoa!  Let's not go crazy.

SIMON (2): Why don't we go see how that dude's doing first.

2 - Amy pushes Simon's hands away, angry and frustrated with him.

AMY: You said he was dead!

3 - Simon flinches back, trying to defend himself, both physically and with his words.

SIMON (1): I found a bag full of money attached to a guy's arm.

SIMON (2): Excuse me for freaking out and not checking for a pulse.

4 - Amy stares down Simon, anger seething in her eyes.  Simon cowers.


5- Amy grabs Simon's wrist and starts walking with him towards the back, not waiting for his reaction.

AMY: Come on.

Onto page 10.

Start from the beginning.

Sunday, November 8, 2015

Noirvember - If on a Winter's Night - Page 8

1 - On the inside of the bar's front door as Amy locks the deadbolt with one hand and latches the chain lock with the other.


2 - On the neon Open sign, which Amy turns off.


3 - On the bar's window as Amy lowers the blinds.


4 - Amy slams back a drink as Simon looks on with some concern.


5 - Amy looks with incredulity at the duffle bag full of cash sitting on the bar top, her drained glass next to it.

AMY: We gotta call the cops.

Onto page 9.

Start from the beginning.

Saturday, November 7, 2015

Noirvember - If on a Winter's Night - Page 7

1 - Simon is crouched on one knee, holding the stack of twenties.  Beyond it, he sees the duffle bag, partially covered in fallen snow.


2 - Simon unzips the duffle bag to see that it is filled with stacks of twenties.  He cannot believe what he's seeing.


3 - Simon makes to stand up and walk away with the duffle bag, but it catches on Winston's arm, stopping him short and causing him to fall over.


4 - Simon sits on his butt in the snow, looking in stunned silence at the duffle bag and Winston's body.  Some of the money has spilled out of the bag, but Simon isn't really registering that at the moment.


Onto page 8.

Start from the beginning.

Friday, November 6, 2015

Noirvember - If on a Winter's Night - Page 6

1 - Simon stands outside of the doorway of the alley behind the bar holding a garbage bag.  This is an alley that we've seen before.  Simon looks cold and unhappy.  The snow continues to fall in the night.


2 - Simon looks with frustration at the dented and knocked over garbage can, which is covered in a good deal of snow.


3 - Simon has put down the garbage bag and is picking up the garbage can.  His frustration is gone, replaced by curiosity at something that has caught his attention off-panel.


4 - Focus on a stack of twenty dollar bills laying in the snow.  It's partially covered by the downfall, but is still clearly visible.


Onto page 7.

Start from the beginning.

Thursday, November 5, 2015

Noirvember - If on a Winter's Night - Page 5

1 - Amy prepares some Old Fashions in a mixing glass, pouring out some rye to begin.  She concentrates on her work.

AMY: Besides, you know Piotr is not exactly the forgiving type.

2 - As Amy shakes in some bitters, Simon dismisses her concerns pretty handily.

SIMON (1): Yeah, yeah.  The guy who used to work here tried to pull a fast one and Piotr fired his ass so quick you never saw him again.

SIMON (2): I know the story, Aims.

3 - Amy pours out the mixing glass into two tumblers.  Simon gestures towards the empty bar.

SIMON: For such a hardass, he doesn't seem to mind that his bar is always empty.

AMY: That's his prerogative as the man with the money.

4 - Simon reaches for one of the drinks (all garnished and so forth).  Amy puts out a hand to stop him, smirking once again.

AMY: And as the man without, I think it's only fair you earn your keep.

5 - Simon returns the playful look, crossing his arms.

SIMON: What would you have in mind?

Onto page 6.

Start from the beginning.

Wednesday, November 4, 2015

Noirvember - If on a Winter's Night - Page 4

1 - Tight on Simon, a man in his late-20s / early 30s who is a hipster / punk mix, leaning a bit more to punk (and a tad grungy at that).  He's got some gauges, other piercings, messy hair, maybe a questionable beard, and probably some tattoos, but you might not be able to see them depending on his clothes.  He looks pretty shifty.

SIMON: All I'm saying is we could split the till.

2 - Now tight on Amy.  She's similar age range as Simon, but she is pure hip.  She's got that undercut / longer hair combo that's all the rage, pierced lip, trendy clothes, and the like.  She looks unimpressed.

AMY: And all I'm saying is that you make that suggestion every night.

3 - Simon and Amy both in view, revealing that they are in a bar that is completely empty (except for them, of course).  Amy is bartending, while Simon sits at the counter.  Amy has the empty till open, emphasizing her point.  Small detail, but both their drinks are empty (or near it).

AMY: And half of zero is still nothing.

4 - Close on the two of them.  Some banter between the two, Amy mock accusing and Simon mock defensive.

AMY: ...Unless you want to start paying for your drinks.

SIMON: Do I look like I've found any work?

5 - Smirking, Amy turns to get some supplies to prepare another round of drinks.

AMY: You certainly don't look like you've been looking.

Onto page 5.

Start from the beginning.

Tuesday, November 3, 2015

Noirvember - If on a Winter's Night - Page 3

1 - Winston stumbles along the alley, leaning heavily against the wall and continuing the hold his hand against his side.

WINSTON (quiet, woozy): Splitting up was a bad idea...

2 - Winston trips over a garbage can or two, falling to the ground.  A doorway in the alley stands behind the can and his prone form (something that will be relevant later).


3 - Winston lies on the ground, not looking good.  The duffle bag lies near him, still wrapped in one of his arms.  The garbage cans lie next to that.  The snow continues to fall in the night.


Onto page 4.

Start from the beginning.

Monday, November 2, 2015

Noirvember - If on a Winter's Night - Page 2

1 - Continuing his walk, Winston bumps into a couple passing by him in the other direction.


2 - The man of the couple turns and yells after Winston.  Winston walks on, ignoring the cries and looking down at his hand.

MAN: Hey!

3 - On Winston's hand, which is slick with blood.

MAN (off-panel): What's the rush, buddy?

4 - Winston's stumbling more than ever and turns into an alley.


Onto page 3.

Start from the beginning.

Sunday, November 1, 2015

Noirvember - If on a Winter's Night - Page 1

1 - Establishing shot.  We're looking at a city at night in winter.  A river runs through the city, taking up a good portion of the panel's real estate (maybe we got a bridge spanning it).  Lights from buildings, cars, and sign blaze against the darkness.  It's snowing.


2 - A man, Winston, walks across the bridge, a duffle bag on his shoulder and a hand held to his side.  No other pedestrians are around.  There's maybe a car or two, but they obviously drive on without stopping.


3 - Winston reaches the edge of the bridge, slouching against a streetlamp pole as he waits for the light to change to cross the intersection.  His hand remains on his side.


4 - Winston walks along the sidewalk in a small neighbourhood.  We're definitely not downtown, but there are a lot of storefronts at street level - often with apartments and the like above.  We're late enough in the evening that there's only a few businesses open and not too many people are out and about.  His hand remains on his side.


Onto page 2