Monday, March 28, 2016

Five Page Stories - Ex Factor - Page 1

I have a running list of #366stories that could be press-ganged into Five Page Story service, but 086, which I came up with only yesterday really tickled my fancy, so it leaped to the top of the pack:

The protector of the realm discovers that the latest emerging threat can only be stopped by an artifact that he once possessed.  Unfortunately, he left it at his ex's house, and to be honest, letting the world end might be better than seeing her again...

We've two characters in this initial page - Belok and Ordro.  Belok is an ersatz He-Man, the hero of Perpetrea, who is a suitably muscle-bound young male with a surprising amount of skin and muscles showing for a guy who should probably be wearing armour.  Ordro would play the role of Orko, but instead of being a flying sorcerer-thing, he is a humanoid of living stone.

1 - On Ordro as he follows Belok down a dark, earthen staircase.  Some sconces may line the walls.

ORDRO: Without the Foreverspear, Perpetrea is doomed!

2 - Belok walks through a large, dungeon-y archway - hints of the many items within may be visible.  He turns back and waves a hand dismissively towards Ordro, refusing to take his concerns seriously.

BELOK: Relax! It's in my armoury along with all the other items of untold power I've picked up over the years.

3 - Belok and Ordro look at one of the walls of weapons (and, in effect, the reader).  Belok holds a hand to his chin, thinking, while Ordro searches with concern on his face.

BELOK: Yeah, it should be right...

4 - Switch angle to show the wall Belok and Ordro are looking at.  There are some weapons hanging on the wall, but the focus should be an empty space where the spear should be - perhaps with a spear-shaped dotted outline to emphasize its absence.


5 - Ordro grabs Belok by his shirt / bandoliers, starting to really worry now.  While he's been shaken by his companion, Belok seems to mostly be ignoring this, snapping his fingers as he remembers where the spear is.

ORDRO: Well then, where is it?

SFX: snap!

BELOK: Right! I left it at Lady Ashling's place before we broke up.

6 - Ordro starts walking off with purpose, hand pointing in the air as he takes a decision.  Belok does not follow, instead looking pretty unsure as he hesitantly scratches the back of his head.

ORDRO: Then we must go there posthaste!

BELOK: I dunno, man. Things ended pretty badly between us and we haven't really talked since.

7 - Ordro spins on Belok, a look of disbelief on his stone face.

ORDRO: Belok, the world will literally end if the Foreverspear is not recovered.

8 - Belok is pensive once more.

BELOK: Well, when you put it that way...

9 - Belok shrugs his shoulders.  Ordro facepalms at what he's hearing, possibly scratching off some of his own stone with the force.

BELOK: The world's had a pretty good run, right?

Next page.


  1. I'm with Belok.

    Also as delicious as pastry-filled walls sound, I feel like sconce would be much more illuminating. #shesinsufferable

    1. Haha, you are insufferable. But also correct, so point taken. :)