Wednesday, November 23, 2016

Noirvember - Paint the Town - Page 3

Start from the beginning.

1 - Alyssa, walking along the open yard, looks towards one of the garages as some indistinct words come from it.
LETTERING NOTE: Have a wavy word balloon with unreadable "text" to signify that whatever's being said can't be heard.

INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE

2 - On Alyssa, who has crept up to the corner of the garage and peeks in.  There is a pile of tires in front of her that she might use for support / cover.  From the framing, the reader cannot see inside yet.
LETTERING NOTE: The balloon is still coming from within, but it's now legible.  Perhaps consider providing a visual cue that it's still hard to hear (e.g. greyed text, etc), but it's not strictly necessary.

VOICE (from within): Please. I can make it right.

3 - Inside the garage.  A serious looking gentleman holds a gun to the head of a desperate looking man who is kneeling in front of him.  The lighting kind of spotlights the two, obscuring the other figures who stand around on the periphery.

GENTLEMAN: A little late for that.

4 - Close on Alyssa's face.  Still peeking around the corner, she closes her eyes and flinches at the pull of the trigger.
LETTERING NOTE: I could go with a big BLAM! taking up a lot of the background behind Alyssa or a smaller, more subtle one.  Whatever you think works best.

SFX: BLAM!

Next page.

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