Wednesday, November 16, 2016

Noirvember - Lost and Found - Page 3

Start from the beginning.

1 - Close on hands searching through an open jacket.  It might not be initially clear to the reader, but this is the bad dude searching through the dead guy's clothing.


2 - Close on one of the bad dude's hands as he pulls out a police badge from the clothing - have the hands holding the badge in a way that there's no doubt it's a cop badge, although details like department, name, etc aren't important.


3 - Switch to a close shot of Vanessa's face.  She is peeking from around a corner of the bridge (the side opposite where the bad dude came in, natch).  She's barely around the corner - maybe only half (or less) of her face is visible.  She is shocked at what she sees, her eye(s) and mouth going wide.


4 - Back on the bad dude from the direction where Vanessa and Troy are hiding (so the "back" of the bridge, if the body's legs are at the "front").  The bad dude is kneeling over the body, holding the cop badge out in front of himself.  He snaps his head to look towards Vanessa and Troy's position (and by extension, towards the reader), expression a mix of suspicion and anger.  The panel should go the width of the page to emphasize the pause in time.  We should be far enough back to see most of the area under the bridge, but not far enough to see the corner where Vanessa and Troy are hiding (or whether they can be seen by the bad dude).


5 - Another page wide panel.  Both the bad dude and Vanessa and Troy are visible, with the bad due on the left side and Vanessa and Troy on the right.  The bad dude is getting up and heading away towards the "front" of the bridge, absentmindedly tucking the cop badge into an inner-pocket in his jacket.  Vanessa and Troy are just outside the under-bridge area (tunnel?) and around the corner.  Vanessa lays in a heap on top of Troy, clear evidence that he hastily pulled her out of the bad dude's sight (maybe Troy has a hand around Vanessa's mouth to make sure any surprised yelp would be muffled).  Vanessa and Troy both look terrified and spent - the close brush with danger is taking a lot out of them.


Next page.

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