Thursday, November 10, 2016

Noirvember - The Beaten Path - Page 4

Start from the beginning.

1 - Establishing shot.  We're looking onto a big lake in the middle of the forest.  Trees line its shores, including a small cliff / escarpment coming off the water.  The sun is starting to rise; the night is ending.


2 - Stephen and Carson are still in the forest (they're near the cliff edge, but that isn't necessarily obvious from this panel).  Stephen has paused to wipe the sweat from his brow.  He's put down Ronnie's feet to do so.  Carson stands, still holding Ronnie's torso up.  He looks far more tired and frustrated than Stephen.  His eyes go wide in anger at Stephen's remark.

STEPHEN (1): *phew!*

STEPHEN (2): The boss is gonna be real mad at us.


3 - Carson is enraged.  He throws the body away from him in anger, sending it tumbling.  Stephen hops back in surprise and mild fear.

CARSON (shouting): There is no "us"!

4 - Carson grabs Stephen by the shirt with one hand.  Stephen's eyes go wide in fear.  He points in the direction that Ronnie's body went, although Carson pays it no mind.

CARSON: You crashed the car!

STEPHEN (quietly): Carson...

5 - Carson raises the other fist high, ready to deck Stephen.  Stephen continues to look and point towards where Ronnie's body went; Carson continues to not pick up on this.

CARSON: You shot Ronald!

6 - Carson unleashes a vicious haymaker, taking Stephen off his feet.

CARSON: And you "knew a shortcut"!

7 - On Stephen on his hands and knees on the ground (maybe he's coughing some blood or at least bleeding a bit).  Carson can be seen looming over him, but the panel cuts him off around the waist or so.  Stephen looks at something off-panel with great interest.

CARSON: I honestly don't know how you could make this any worse.

STEPHEN: Well...

8 - Switch to the edge of the cliff.  There are some shrubs whose branches have been knocked away / off from Ronnie's body rolling through them.  Open air lies beyond.

STEPHEN (off-panel): You could throw Ronnie off a cliff.

Next page.

No comments:

Post a Comment