Five Page Stories - Off the Clock - Page 1

I have a little post-it note on my desk listing things I feel like I could stand to work on when it comes to comic scripting, so this week I'm planning on giving some time to one of the items on that list.  Prepare yourself for a five page story revolving around "fight scenes".

1 - On Kendra Richardson, a woman wearing a military jacket, black top, and jeans, sitting at the back of a bus with her messenger bag beside her.  She is tired, beat-up - perhaps some bruising or cuts on her face.  She crosses her arms, snoozing slightly.  Frame to emphasize that she is alone on the bus.  Through the windows, it is night time and - if possible to show - raining.

CAPTION (KENDRA): Normally I'd walk home from work.

2 - Outside on the bus stopped at a bus stop (again, in the rain).  A group of five men in business wear are getting on at the front of the bus.  Their upper bodies and faces are hidden by their umbrellas.

CAPTION (KENDRA): But the weather's awful.

3 - On the feet of the group of men standing at the front of the bus talking with the bus driver - their business shoes are nice and fancy.  If visible, the bus driver's shoes are old and worn.

CAPTION (KENDRA): And it's been a long day.

LEADER (off-panel): We require you to exit this vehicle immediately.

BUS DRIVER (off-panel): Listen, wise guy, I don't know what--

4 - On the bus' front door as the driver is thrown out towards the wet pavement below.

BUS DRIVER: Whoah!

5 - On Kendra, who holds a similar snoozing position as panel 1, but with one eye open in response to the call.  She looks more annoyed than surprised.

CAPTION (KENDRA): Unfortunately...

LEADER (off-panel): Ms. Richardson!

6 - On the group of businessmen at the front of the bus.  While all in business wear, we see that they are also all wearing luchador masks, each one with a different colour.  Their leader wears a slightly fancier mask to distinguish him from the others.  The walk menacingly towards the back of the bus, all still holding their (now closed) umbrellas.  One of the group has stayed at the front and is driving the bus.

LEADER: You must pay for what you've done!

CAPTION (KENDRA): It looks like it's about to get a lot longer.

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