Friday, August 10, 2012

Lord Dogberry & Lane

1 - Lord Dogberry is dressed in full Boer War-era British uniform (say, something like this).  He is lying on the top of a hill, aiming down his rifle's sights at something off-panel.  No dialogue.

2 - Repeat panel.

LANE (off-panel): Sir?

3 - The same panel, but it is slightly wider, revealing that Lane, Lord Dogberry's batman / valet, has been standing behind him, arms folded behind his back and looking dapper, the entire time.  Lord Dogberry's expression changes slightly to one of annoyance.

LANE: *ahem* Sir?

LORD DOGBERRY: What is it, Lane?

4 - Lane holds the same position.  Lord Dogberry looks back at Lane, diverting his attention from his rifle for the first time.

LANE: Do you ever wonder if perhaps your prodigious talents could be put to better use?

LORD DOGBERRY: What?

5 - Lord Dogberry is on his feet.  Angry, he jabs an accusing finger into Lane's chest.  Lane holds the same position, unphased.

LORD DOGBERRY (1): What is this nonsense you're talking about!

LORD DOGBERRY (2): Society must be protected at all costs, Lane!

6 - Lord Dogberry holds his arms up in indignation.  He still holds his rifle, which is also up in the air.  In the background, we see a festival of some type, with a number of helium balloons evident.  They're attached to signs, for sale, and held by a number of young children.

LORD DOGBERRY: I ask you, if we don't hunt down those villainous bags of air, who will?

Sometimes you just want to do something silly.  Here we have Lord Dogberry who is on the hunt of the world's most dangerous game - balloons - and his loyal batman / valet, Lane.  I hope this translated from my head to the page properly.

With apologies to Kate Beaten and Brendan Leach.

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