Start from the beginning.
1 - On Randall as he gets puts his hands up in an attempt to placate Charles.
RANDALL (1): Okay, I get it.
RANDALL (2): You can keep watch out here.
2 - Randall is up the stairs at the doorway on the second level, a gun drawn. He looks down at Charles, who is rolling his eyes and munching on the bread.
RANDALL: But I'll get the bigger share.
3 - Randall kicks in the door. In the background, Charles searches through his coat.
NO COPY
4 - Randall is inside and out of view. Charles has pulled out a phone that he is talking on as he walks out of the alley.
CHARLES: Hello, 911?
5 - Shot of the neighbourhood. Maybe we're jumping forward in time as some cop cars race towards Chez Edgar.
CAPTION (CHARLES): I'd like to report a robbery.
Friday, December 2, 2016
Thursday, December 1, 2016
Noirvember - Free Lunch - Page 4
Start from the beginning.
1 - Randall is off the curb and heading off-panel. Charles looks after him in surprise, starting to following.
RANDALL: But Edgar does.
CHARLES: What?
2 - Randall is heading into an alley beside the restaurant, with Charles following behind. Frame from inside the alley looking out, so Randall and Charles are moving towards the reader. Randall looks confident, while Charles looks dismissive.
CHARLES: You're planning to rob a restaurant?
RANDALL: Not a restaurant...
3 - On a doorway up on the second level in the alley, with some stairs leading up to it.
RANDALL (off-panel): The owner who lives upstairs.
4 - Randall moves close to Charles, speaking to him in a conspiratorial manner. Charles cocks an eyebrow, suspicious of the idea.
RANDALL: It's perfect. The old man doesn't believe in banks. He keeps everything he's got in a safe in the bedroom.
5 - Randall turns and mimes kicking down a door, his arms flailing about in what he thinks looks like kung-fu. Charles is off-panel.
RANDALL: We'll kick in the door, make some noise, and be out with your money before anyone's the wiser.
CHARLES (off-panel): Funny...
6 - On Charles at the mouth of the alley. His arms are crossed, unconvinced (note he should still be holding the bread in one hand, as of yet untasted).
CHARLES: I seem to recall the last time you said something like that I ended up in jail.
Next page.
1 - Randall is off the curb and heading off-panel. Charles looks after him in surprise, starting to following.
RANDALL: But Edgar does.
CHARLES: What?
2 - Randall is heading into an alley beside the restaurant, with Charles following behind. Frame from inside the alley looking out, so Randall and Charles are moving towards the reader. Randall looks confident, while Charles looks dismissive.
CHARLES: You're planning to rob a restaurant?
RANDALL: Not a restaurant...
3 - On a doorway up on the second level in the alley, with some stairs leading up to it.
RANDALL (off-panel): The owner who lives upstairs.
4 - Randall moves close to Charles, speaking to him in a conspiratorial manner. Charles cocks an eyebrow, suspicious of the idea.
RANDALL: It's perfect. The old man doesn't believe in banks. He keeps everything he's got in a safe in the bedroom.
5 - Randall turns and mimes kicking down a door, his arms flailing about in what he thinks looks like kung-fu. Charles is off-panel.
RANDALL: We'll kick in the door, make some noise, and be out with your money before anyone's the wiser.
CHARLES (off-panel): Funny...
6 - On Charles at the mouth of the alley. His arms are crossed, unconvinced (note he should still be holding the bread in one hand, as of yet untasted).
CHARLES: I seem to recall the last time you said something like that I ended up in jail.
Next page.
Wednesday, November 30, 2016
Noirvember - Free Lunch - Page 3
Start from the beginning.
1 - Randall and Charles are sitting on the curb near the restaurant. Randall has one hand in his inside jacket pocket, reaching for something; he holds a mostly eaten piece of bread with his other hand. Charles looks attentively.
NO COPY
2 - Randall pulls out another piece of bread. Charles looks disappointed, if not surprised.
NO COPY
3 - Randall cautiously offers the bread to Charles. Charles hangs his head in disappointment, not looking at Randall.
NO COPY
4 - Charles puts out his hand to accept the bread, although he continues to hang his head.
CHARLES: You don't have the money you owe, do you?
5 - On the sign to Chez Edgar. Neither Randall nor Charles are visible.
RANDALL (off-panel): Not as such, no.
Next page.
1 - Randall and Charles are sitting on the curb near the restaurant. Randall has one hand in his inside jacket pocket, reaching for something; he holds a mostly eaten piece of bread with his other hand. Charles looks attentively.
NO COPY
2 - Randall pulls out another piece of bread. Charles looks disappointed, if not surprised.
NO COPY
3 - Randall cautiously offers the bread to Charles. Charles hangs his head in disappointment, not looking at Randall.
NO COPY
4 - Charles puts out his hand to accept the bread, although he continues to hang his head.
CHARLES: You don't have the money you owe, do you?
5 - On the sign to Chez Edgar. Neither Randall nor Charles are visible.
RANDALL (off-panel): Not as such, no.
Next page.
Tuesday, November 29, 2016
Noirvember - Free Lunch - Page 2
Start from the beginning.
1 - The waitress stomps away, unimpressed with Randall's miserly behaviour. Randall looks towards the entrance and gives a big, happy wave to his friend Charles, who is still off-panel.
RANDALL: Chuck!
2 - Randall is up and out of his chair, heading towards Charles, who has not made it to his table yet. Randall takes the napkin from his collar and puts it on the table. Charles looks a little confused. Some of the other diners may look up from their meals to see what the fuss is about.
RANDALL: Thank god you're here!
3 - Randall puts his arm around Charles' shoulders and steers him towards the entrance of the restaurant, heading out. Randall looks pleased as punch; Charles is a tad bewildered; the waitress from before looks on from the background, seething.
RANDALL: I was worried I was going to have to order something
4 - Randall and Charles stand outside the restaurant. Chez Edgar is on the ground level of a block of buildings in a gentrifying neighbourhood. There are other stores and restaurants about and apartment buildings above these storefronts. Charles stops and looks annoyed. Randall reaches into his jacket, a knowing look on his face.
CHARLES: Wait, why did you even want to meet here if we weren't planning on staying?
RANDALL: Are you kidding?
5 - Close on Randall and Charles. Randall has pulled out a dinner roll from his jacket and takes a big bite out of it; Charles looks even less impressed than before.
RANDALL: Their bread is unreal!
Next page.
1 - The waitress stomps away, unimpressed with Randall's miserly behaviour. Randall looks towards the entrance and gives a big, happy wave to his friend Charles, who is still off-panel.
RANDALL: Chuck!
2 - Randall is up and out of his chair, heading towards Charles, who has not made it to his table yet. Randall takes the napkin from his collar and puts it on the table. Charles looks a little confused. Some of the other diners may look up from their meals to see what the fuss is about.
RANDALL: Thank god you're here!
3 - Randall puts his arm around Charles' shoulders and steers him towards the entrance of the restaurant, heading out. Randall looks pleased as punch; Charles is a tad bewildered; the waitress from before looks on from the background, seething.
RANDALL: I was worried I was going to have to order something
4 - Randall and Charles stand outside the restaurant. Chez Edgar is on the ground level of a block of buildings in a gentrifying neighbourhood. There are other stores and restaurants about and apartment buildings above these storefronts. Charles stops and looks annoyed. Randall reaches into his jacket, a knowing look on his face.
CHARLES: Wait, why did you even want to meet here if we weren't planning on staying?
RANDALL: Are you kidding?
5 - Close on Randall and Charles. Randall has pulled out a dinner roll from his jacket and takes a big bite out of it; Charles looks even less impressed than before.
RANDALL: Their bread is unreal!
Next page.
Monday, November 28, 2016
Noirvember - Free Lunch - Page 1
We open on four small panels, showing off different scenes in a fancy restaurant.
1 - A couple - who are dressed to the nines - share a laugh at their well appointed table.
NO COPY
2 - Close on a wine bottle being opened by one of the wait staff.
NO COPY
3 - Close on a menu that one of the patrons are perusing. The restaurant's name "Chez Edgar" is written in embossed letters on the front in fancy type.
NO COPY
4 - A waitress walks towards a table holding some sumptuous looking plates of food.
NO COPY
5 - Move to an establishing shot of the restaurant interior. It is very chic, with mood lighting. The bar may be visible in the background. Either way, every table is full. Every table, that is, except for the one that is the focus of the panel. Randall, dressed in a shabby suit with a loosely done tie (which is hidden by the napkin he has tucked into the collar of his shirt to from a temporary bib) and questionable facial hair, sits alone at a table for two, munching on a dinner roll as he lounges about. A half drunk glass of water and dinner roll basket sits on his table. The waitress from the previous panel has come up and is trying to take an order.
WAITRESS: Sir? Are you sure you wouldn't like order something while you wait for your friend?
1 - A couple - who are dressed to the nines - share a laugh at their well appointed table.
NO COPY
2 - Close on a wine bottle being opened by one of the wait staff.
NO COPY
3 - Close on a menu that one of the patrons are perusing. The restaurant's name "Chez Edgar" is written in embossed letters on the front in fancy type.
NO COPY
4 - A waitress walks towards a table holding some sumptuous looking plates of food.
NO COPY
5 - Move to an establishing shot of the restaurant interior. It is very chic, with mood lighting. The bar may be visible in the background. Either way, every table is full. Every table, that is, except for the one that is the focus of the panel. Randall, dressed in a shabby suit with a loosely done tie (which is hidden by the napkin he has tucked into the collar of his shirt to from a temporary bib) and questionable facial hair, sits alone at a table for two, munching on a dinner roll as he lounges about. A half drunk glass of water and dinner roll basket sits on his table. The waitress from the previous panel has come up and is trying to take an order.
WAITRESS: Sir? Are you sure you wouldn't like order something while you wait for your friend?
RANDALL: Naw, I'm good with the water, thanks.
6 - Move in closer to the pair. Randall pops the last of the roll into his mouth and reconsiders the waitress' proposal further. She continues to stand at attention.
RANDALL: Well, now that you mention it...
7 - Close on the empty dinner roll basket. Randall has picked it up and shows it to the waitress.
Friday, November 25, 2016
Noirvember - Paint the Town - Page 5
Start from the beginning.
1 - Alyssa stands outside the door to her house, struggling to unlock it in her panic. She's looking around, trying to see if anyone has followed her.
NO COPY
2 - Alyssa is inside, leaning against the door she has closed behind her. She finally relaxes a bit.
ALYSSA: Warren? You here?
WARREN (off-panel): In the living room.
3 - Alyssa walks along the hall towards the living room. Maybe she keeps a hand to the wall to help balance herself.
ALYSSA (1): Oh, God. It was awful--
ALYSSA (2): I took the shortcut.
4 - Warren and the serious looking gentleman sit on chairs in the middle of the living room, calmly looking towards the reader (and Alyssa, who may or may not be visible in the panel's foreground). Like in the garage, the living room light kind of spotlights the serious looking gentleman (and also Warren this time) and a number of figures stand in the periphery, slightly obscured.
WARREN: I know.
1 - Alyssa stands outside the door to her house, struggling to unlock it in her panic. She's looking around, trying to see if anyone has followed her.
NO COPY
2 - Alyssa is inside, leaning against the door she has closed behind her. She finally relaxes a bit.
ALYSSA: Warren? You here?
WARREN (off-panel): In the living room.
3 - Alyssa walks along the hall towards the living room. Maybe she keeps a hand to the wall to help balance herself.
ALYSSA (1): Oh, God. It was awful--
ALYSSA (2): I took the shortcut.
4 - Warren and the serious looking gentleman sit on chairs in the middle of the living room, calmly looking towards the reader (and Alyssa, who may or may not be visible in the panel's foreground). Like in the garage, the living room light kind of spotlights the serious looking gentleman (and also Warren this time) and a number of figures stand in the periphery, slightly obscured.
WARREN: I know.
Thursday, November 24, 2016
Noirvember - Paint the Town - Page 4
Start from the beginning.
1 - The serious looking gentleman stands over the body of the now dead man, blocking most of him from the reader's view (although not all). A tire rolls into frame from the bottom of the panel. One of the figures on the periphery points towards the door. The serious looking gentleman turns (as do others) to look in the same direction.
FIGURE: What was that?
2 - On the entrance / corner where Alyssa had been spying on them. She's gone, leaving a knocked over pile of tires as evidence of her presence.
FIGURE (off-panel): Someone's here!
3 - On Alyssa, running in the alley between buildings towards the back of the lot. Maybe frame from above, with the buildings as part of the gutter (or an addition to).
NO COPY
4 - Alyssa is up and climbing over a chain-link fence.
NO COPY
5 - Close on a hand grabbing Alyssa's ankle. Maybe don't have any background to emphasize this moment.
NO COPY
6 - Alyssa kicks the person grabbing her ankle in the face, causing them to let go.
NO COPY
7 - Alyssa runs off. Frame so the fence is between the reader and her, leaving the chain-link pattern covering the whole panel.
NO COPY
Next page.
1 - The serious looking gentleman stands over the body of the now dead man, blocking most of him from the reader's view (although not all). A tire rolls into frame from the bottom of the panel. One of the figures on the periphery points towards the door. The serious looking gentleman turns (as do others) to look in the same direction.
FIGURE: What was that?
2 - On the entrance / corner where Alyssa had been spying on them. She's gone, leaving a knocked over pile of tires as evidence of her presence.
FIGURE (off-panel): Someone's here!
3 - On Alyssa, running in the alley between buildings towards the back of the lot. Maybe frame from above, with the buildings as part of the gutter (or an addition to).
NO COPY
4 - Alyssa is up and climbing over a chain-link fence.
NO COPY
5 - Close on a hand grabbing Alyssa's ankle. Maybe don't have any background to emphasize this moment.
NO COPY
6 - Alyssa kicks the person grabbing her ankle in the face, causing them to let go.
NO COPY
7 - Alyssa runs off. Frame so the fence is between the reader and her, leaving the chain-link pattern covering the whole panel.
NO COPY
Next page.
Wednesday, November 23, 2016
Noirvember - Paint the Town - Page 3
Start from the beginning.
1 - Alyssa, walking along the open yard, looks towards one of the garages as some indistinct words come from it.
LETTERING NOTE: Have a wavy word balloon with unreadable "text" to signify that whatever's being said can't be heard.
INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE
2 - On Alyssa, who has crept up to the corner of the garage and peeks in. There is a pile of tires in front of her that she might use for support / cover. From the framing, the reader cannot see inside yet.
LETTERING NOTE: The balloon is still coming from within, but it's now legible. Perhaps consider providing a visual cue that it's still hard to hear (e.g. greyed text, etc), but it's not strictly necessary.
VOICE (from within): Please. I can make it right.
3 - Inside the garage. A serious looking gentleman holds a gun to the head of a desperate looking man who is kneeling in front of him. The lighting kind of spotlights the two, obscuring the other figures who stand around on the periphery.
GENTLEMAN: A little late for that.
4 - Close on Alyssa's face. Still peeking around the corner, she closes her eyes and flinches at the pull of the trigger.
LETTERING NOTE: I could go with a big BLAM! taking up a lot of the background behind Alyssa or a smaller, more subtle one. Whatever you think works best.
SFX: BLAM!
Next page.
1 - Alyssa, walking along the open yard, looks towards one of the garages as some indistinct words come from it.
LETTERING NOTE: Have a wavy word balloon with unreadable "text" to signify that whatever's being said can't be heard.
INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE
2 - On Alyssa, who has crept up to the corner of the garage and peeks in. There is a pile of tires in front of her that she might use for support / cover. From the framing, the reader cannot see inside yet.
LETTERING NOTE: The balloon is still coming from within, but it's now legible. Perhaps consider providing a visual cue that it's still hard to hear (e.g. greyed text, etc), but it's not strictly necessary.
VOICE (from within): Please. I can make it right.
3 - Inside the garage. A serious looking gentleman holds a gun to the head of a desperate looking man who is kneeling in front of him. The lighting kind of spotlights the two, obscuring the other figures who stand around on the periphery.
GENTLEMAN: A little late for that.
4 - Close on Alyssa's face. Still peeking around the corner, she closes her eyes and flinches at the pull of the trigger.
LETTERING NOTE: I could go with a big BLAM! taking up a lot of the background behind Alyssa or a smaller, more subtle one. Whatever you think works best.
SFX: BLAM!
Next page.
Tuesday, November 22, 2016
Noirvember - Paint the Town - Page 2
Start from the beginning.
1 - Alyssa sits on the stoop outside of a shawarma place, holding a shawarma in one hand while she talks on her phone with the other. It's still late; there don't seem to be any cars around.
ALYSSA: Yeah, pick me up at Eglington and Yates.
2 - Alyssa sits on the same stoop, but her shawarma is done and the shawarma place is closed. If anything, the street is even more abandoned now. Alyssa looks annoyed (and more sober), looking down at her phone.
ALYSSA (1): This is ridiculous.
ALYSSA (2): Uber it is.
3 - On Alyssa's phone screen. It reads "0% battery" with an appropriate graphic.
NO COPY
4 - Alyssa is trudging along the sidewalk as she walks home. She does not look pleased. If we see any of the background, the streets are as empty as before, but she's moved into a more industrial neighbourhood.
NO COPY
5 - On Alyssa from the side. She has stopped walking, her attention grabbed by something off-panel (and in the reader's direction). She cocks her eyebrow as she considers what she sees.
NO COPY
6 - Establishing shot of a garage / used car lot. The place looks kind of menacing, both because it's night time and there seem to be a lot of wrecks all around the lot. There are a couple of buildings that are back from the road. There are piles of tires, parts, and the like scattered all about. A fence seaprates the building from the road, with a prominent "NO TRESPASSING" sign visible. The entrance is two swinging fences that are locked together, but there's enough room for someone to slide between them. Alyssa has done just that and walks along the open space in the general direction of the buildings.
NO COPY
Next page.
1 - Alyssa sits on the stoop outside of a shawarma place, holding a shawarma in one hand while she talks on her phone with the other. It's still late; there don't seem to be any cars around.
ALYSSA: Yeah, pick me up at Eglington and Yates.
2 - Alyssa sits on the same stoop, but her shawarma is done and the shawarma place is closed. If anything, the street is even more abandoned now. Alyssa looks annoyed (and more sober), looking down at her phone.
ALYSSA (1): This is ridiculous.
ALYSSA (2): Uber it is.
3 - On Alyssa's phone screen. It reads "0% battery" with an appropriate graphic.
NO COPY
4 - Alyssa is trudging along the sidewalk as she walks home. She does not look pleased. If we see any of the background, the streets are as empty as before, but she's moved into a more industrial neighbourhood.
NO COPY
5 - On Alyssa from the side. She has stopped walking, her attention grabbed by something off-panel (and in the reader's direction). She cocks her eyebrow as she considers what she sees.
NO COPY
6 - Establishing shot of a garage / used car lot. The place looks kind of menacing, both because it's night time and there seem to be a lot of wrecks all around the lot. There are a couple of buildings that are back from the road. There are piles of tires, parts, and the like scattered all about. A fence seaprates the building from the road, with a prominent "NO TRESPASSING" sign visible. The entrance is two swinging fences that are locked together, but there's enough room for someone to slide between them. Alyssa has done just that and walks along the open space in the general direction of the buildings.
NO COPY
Next page.
Monday, November 21, 2016
Noirvember - Paint the Town - Page 1
1 - Alyssa and Warren are walking along a city sidewalk after a night out partying. Alyssa looks to be a little further gone than Warren, hanging precariously from his neck. Warren's attention is taken by his phone getting a text (either vibrating or giving off a little tone).
ALYSSA: This was a great evening, but I cannot wait to pass out at home!
2 - Warren looks at his phone intently. Alyssa is annoyed at what he says, pushing him away and pouting a bit.
WARREN: Actually, it looks like the boys are having a nightcap. Meet you back at our place?
ALYSSA: Whaaat?! Don't make me walk home alone! It's sooo far!
3 - Alyssa pauses, putting a finger to her lip in thought. Warren looks up from his phone with a start, giving Alyssa his full attention for the first time this page, his eyes wide.
ALYSSA: I guess I could take that shortcut you showed me...
WARREN: What?
4 - Warren comes back to Alyssa, taking her hands in his and giving her some money. Alyssa is confused by this action.
WARREN (1): No, no, no. It's way too late for that.
WARREN (2): Here, I'll pay your taxi.
ALYSSA: Okay...
5 - On Alyssa's hands as he holds, like, two hundred dollars worth of bills.
ALYSSA (off-panel): But I think this might be too much.
Next page.
ALYSSA: This was a great evening, but I cannot wait to pass out at home!
2 - Warren looks at his phone intently. Alyssa is annoyed at what he says, pushing him away and pouting a bit.
WARREN: Actually, it looks like the boys are having a nightcap. Meet you back at our place?
ALYSSA: Whaaat?! Don't make me walk home alone! It's sooo far!
3 - Alyssa pauses, putting a finger to her lip in thought. Warren looks up from his phone with a start, giving Alyssa his full attention for the first time this page, his eyes wide.
ALYSSA: I guess I could take that shortcut you showed me...
WARREN: What?
4 - Warren comes back to Alyssa, taking her hands in his and giving her some money. Alyssa is confused by this action.
WARREN (1): No, no, no. It's way too late for that.
WARREN (2): Here, I'll pay your taxi.
ALYSSA: Okay...
5 - On Alyssa's hands as he holds, like, two hundred dollars worth of bills.
ALYSSA (off-panel): But I think this might be too much.
Next page.
Friday, November 18, 2016
Noirvember - Lost and Found - Page 5
Start from the beginning.
1 - Vanessa and Troy are walking out of the woods onto a parking lot-type thing. There is a single car in the parking lot (theirs). A cop car is driving by along the connecting rural road. Vanessa sees the car and tries to get its attention.
VANESSA: Hey!
2 - Long shot of Vanessa and Troy running down the road after the cop car. Its brake lights flare.
VANESSA: Hey!
TROY: Stop!
3 - Repeat the long shot. Vanessa and Troy have caught up with the cop car and stand beside the driverside window.
VANESSA: Out in the woods! We saw--!
4 - Close on Vanessa and Troy. They both look terrified and sick. The cop car roof is visible, but not the interior.
VOICE (from within cop car): The woods?
5 - On the cop car driverside window. The bad dude from earlier is sitting in the front seat, wearing a cop uniform. He leans on the (lowered) window, a jovial expression on his face, although whether it's from being in a good mood or recognizing Vanessa and Troy is unclear. This panel could be done so as to leave space for title credits and the like, if desired.
BAD DUDE: ...what did you see?
1 - Vanessa and Troy are walking out of the woods onto a parking lot-type thing. There is a single car in the parking lot (theirs). A cop car is driving by along the connecting rural road. Vanessa sees the car and tries to get its attention.
VANESSA: Hey!
2 - Long shot of Vanessa and Troy running down the road after the cop car. Its brake lights flare.
VANESSA: Hey!
TROY: Stop!
3 - Repeat the long shot. Vanessa and Troy have caught up with the cop car and stand beside the driverside window.
VANESSA: Out in the woods! We saw--!
4 - Close on Vanessa and Troy. They both look terrified and sick. The cop car roof is visible, but not the interior.
VOICE (from within cop car): The woods?
5 - On the cop car driverside window. The bad dude from earlier is sitting in the front seat, wearing a cop uniform. He leans on the (lowered) window, a jovial expression on his face, although whether it's from being in a good mood or recognizing Vanessa and Troy is unclear. This panel could be done so as to leave space for title credits and the like, if desired.
BAD DUDE: ...what did you see?
Thursday, November 17, 2016
Noirvember - Lost and Found - Page 4
Start from the beginning.
1 - On the bridge, angled so the bottom of the dry riverbed isn't visible. Troy is peeking out from the edge of the riverbed next to the bridge, looking around.
TROY: I think he's gone
2 - On Troy as he climbs out of the riverbed. He looks back behind him in concern towards Vanessa.
TROY (1): We should do the same.
TROY (2): Van?
3 - Vanessa is still sitting next to the bridge (where she was at the end of the previous page), her arms wrapped around her knees, still stunned. Troy has come over and crouches in front of her, hands on his knees and a warm (if tired) smile on his face.
VANESSA: How did you know he wouldn't find us?
TROY: Remember when we were talking hide and seek?
4 - Vanessa and Troy exchange a hug, holding each other so tight they might never let go. Whether they're still on the ground or are now standing is up to you.
TROY: I never snuck off when you were it.
Next page.
1 - On the bridge, angled so the bottom of the dry riverbed isn't visible. Troy is peeking out from the edge of the riverbed next to the bridge, looking around.
TROY: I think he's gone
2 - On Troy as he climbs out of the riverbed. He looks back behind him in concern towards Vanessa.
TROY (1): We should do the same.
TROY (2): Van?
3 - Vanessa is still sitting next to the bridge (where she was at the end of the previous page), her arms wrapped around her knees, still stunned. Troy has come over and crouches in front of her, hands on his knees and a warm (if tired) smile on his face.
VANESSA: How did you know he wouldn't find us?
TROY: Remember when we were talking hide and seek?
4 - Vanessa and Troy exchange a hug, holding each other so tight they might never let go. Whether they're still on the ground or are now standing is up to you.
TROY: I never snuck off when you were it.
Next page.
Wednesday, November 16, 2016
Noirvember - Lost and Found - Page 3
Start from the beginning.
1 - Close on hands searching through an open jacket. It might not be initially clear to the reader, but this is the bad dude searching through the dead guy's clothing.
NO COPY
2 - Close on one of the bad dude's hands as he pulls out a police badge from the clothing - have the hands holding the badge in a way that there's no doubt it's a cop badge, although details like department, name, etc aren't important.
NO COPY
3 - Switch to a close shot of Vanessa's face. She is peeking from around a corner of the bridge (the side opposite where the bad dude came in, natch). She's barely around the corner - maybe only half (or less) of her face is visible. She is shocked at what she sees, her eye(s) and mouth going wide.
VANESSA: !
4 - Back on the bad dude from the direction where Vanessa and Troy are hiding (so the "back" of the bridge, if the body's legs are at the "front"). The bad dude is kneeling over the body, holding the cop badge out in front of himself. He snaps his head to look towards Vanessa and Troy's position (and by extension, towards the reader), expression a mix of suspicion and anger. The panel should go the width of the page to emphasize the pause in time. We should be far enough back to see most of the area under the bridge, but not far enough to see the corner where Vanessa and Troy are hiding (or whether they can be seen by the bad dude).
NO COPY
5 - Another page wide panel. Both the bad dude and Vanessa and Troy are visible, with the bad due on the left side and Vanessa and Troy on the right. The bad dude is getting up and heading away towards the "front" of the bridge, absentmindedly tucking the cop badge into an inner-pocket in his jacket. Vanessa and Troy are just outside the under-bridge area (tunnel?) and around the corner. Vanessa lays in a heap on top of Troy, clear evidence that he hastily pulled her out of the bad dude's sight (maybe Troy has a hand around Vanessa's mouth to make sure any surprised yelp would be muffled). Vanessa and Troy both look terrified and spent - the close brush with danger is taking a lot out of them.
NO COPY
Next page.
1 - Close on hands searching through an open jacket. It might not be initially clear to the reader, but this is the bad dude searching through the dead guy's clothing.
NO COPY
2 - Close on one of the bad dude's hands as he pulls out a police badge from the clothing - have the hands holding the badge in a way that there's no doubt it's a cop badge, although details like department, name, etc aren't important.
NO COPY
3 - Switch to a close shot of Vanessa's face. She is peeking from around a corner of the bridge (the side opposite where the bad dude came in, natch). She's barely around the corner - maybe only half (or less) of her face is visible. She is shocked at what she sees, her eye(s) and mouth going wide.
VANESSA: !
4 - Back on the bad dude from the direction where Vanessa and Troy are hiding (so the "back" of the bridge, if the body's legs are at the "front"). The bad dude is kneeling over the body, holding the cop badge out in front of himself. He snaps his head to look towards Vanessa and Troy's position (and by extension, towards the reader), expression a mix of suspicion and anger. The panel should go the width of the page to emphasize the pause in time. We should be far enough back to see most of the area under the bridge, but not far enough to see the corner where Vanessa and Troy are hiding (or whether they can be seen by the bad dude).
NO COPY
5 - Another page wide panel. Both the bad dude and Vanessa and Troy are visible, with the bad due on the left side and Vanessa and Troy on the right. The bad dude is getting up and heading away towards the "front" of the bridge, absentmindedly tucking the cop badge into an inner-pocket in his jacket. Vanessa and Troy are just outside the under-bridge area (tunnel?) and around the corner. Vanessa lays in a heap on top of Troy, clear evidence that he hastily pulled her out of the bad dude's sight (maybe Troy has a hand around Vanessa's mouth to make sure any surprised yelp would be muffled). Vanessa and Troy both look terrified and spent - the close brush with danger is taking a lot out of them.
NO COPY
Next page.
Tuesday, November 15, 2016
Noirvember - Lost and Found - Page 2
Start from the beginning.
1 - Under the bridge, looking out on the riverbed. Troy stands outside, looking uncomfortable and scared. Maybe have him purposefully looking anywhere but under the bridge to help hit this home (said bridge could also be used to help frame him in the panel). The actual body does not need to be visible.
TROY: Anything we can do to help?
2 - Under the bridge, Vanessa kneels near the body. She holds one arm, feeling for a pulse. She also looks uncomfortable and focuses her gaze down and away from the body itself. We still don't need to focus on the body, but maybe show it's battered to some extent (like on the arm, for example).
VAN: I think we're too late for that...
3 - Change angle to focus on where Vanessa is looking - there's a still somewhat fresh pool of blood next to the body. Vanessa looks horrified, maybe putting a hand to her mouth to keep from being sick. (This could also be reversed to a pseudo-worm's eye view from near the blood pool looking up at Vanessa's horrified reaction.)
VANESSA: But - oh, god! I think this happened recently!
TROY (off-panel): Van...
4 - Troy has come under the bridge, crouching to keep from bumping his head. He touches Vanessa's shoulder; she looks to him in response. He looks worried (being sure to focus on Vanessa and not the body); Vanessa still looks a little green around the gills.
TROY: Do you hear something?
5 - Under the bridge, looking out again (like in panel 1). A bad looking dude peeks around the corner, looking under the bridge itself. He looks suspicious (and mean). Maybe he has a busted nose (or some evidence of recent physical altercation).
NO COPY
6 - Switch angle to look underneath the bridge again. The body is there, but Troy and Vanessa are nowhere to be seen.
NO COPY
Next page.
1 - Under the bridge, looking out on the riverbed. Troy stands outside, looking uncomfortable and scared. Maybe have him purposefully looking anywhere but under the bridge to help hit this home (said bridge could also be used to help frame him in the panel). The actual body does not need to be visible.
TROY: Anything we can do to help?
2 - Under the bridge, Vanessa kneels near the body. She holds one arm, feeling for a pulse. She also looks uncomfortable and focuses her gaze down and away from the body itself. We still don't need to focus on the body, but maybe show it's battered to some extent (like on the arm, for example).
VAN: I think we're too late for that...
3 - Change angle to focus on where Vanessa is looking - there's a still somewhat fresh pool of blood next to the body. Vanessa looks horrified, maybe putting a hand to her mouth to keep from being sick. (This could also be reversed to a pseudo-worm's eye view from near the blood pool looking up at Vanessa's horrified reaction.)
VANESSA: But - oh, god! I think this happened recently!
TROY (off-panel): Van...
4 - Troy has come under the bridge, crouching to keep from bumping his head. He touches Vanessa's shoulder; she looks to him in response. He looks worried (being sure to focus on Vanessa and not the body); Vanessa still looks a little green around the gills.
TROY: Do you hear something?
5 - Under the bridge, looking out again (like in panel 1). A bad looking dude peeks around the corner, looking under the bridge itself. He looks suspicious (and mean). Maybe he has a busted nose (or some evidence of recent physical altercation).
NO COPY
6 - Switch angle to look underneath the bridge again. The body is there, but Troy and Vanessa are nowhere to be seen.
NO COPY
Next page.
Monday, November 14, 2016
Noirvember - Lost and Found - Page 1
1 - Establishing shot of a teenage couple, Vanessa and Troy, walking along a stone bridge (the type with waist-high walls on either side) in the woods. They are holding hands and sharing lovey dovey smiles. Troy helps Vanessa up onto one of the stone bridge's walls.
TROY: Remember when we were kids and we'd come out here to play hide and seek?
2 - Vanessa walks along the bridge wall, holding Troy's hand (more for the sake of holding it than out of necessity). She looks down at him and he up at her. She might hold her opposite arm out for balance.
VANESSA: I remember that whenever I was it you would all sneak home.
3 - Focus on Vanessa, who after going a bit off-balance, has let go of Troy's hand and flailed her arms out to help stabilize herself. She ends up leaning over the side of the bridge and looking down. Her expression changes to a mix of puzzlement and shock.
VANESSA: I'd look for ages, but I'd never find any...
4 - Focus on Troy. He kept walking while Vanessa caught her balance and has gotten a bit ahead of her. He stops and looks up at her over his shoulder, the same lovey dovey smile on his face. Vanessa has completely regained her balance and stands straight. She's still looking down over the side of the bridge, but perhaps frame the panel so we don't see her upper body (due to focusing on Troy and Vanessa being higher up).
VANESSA: ...one
TROY: Van?
5 - Switch to a bird's eye view, looking down on the bridge and the couple. Vanessa is still looking over the side of the bridge; Troy has turned around completely to look at Vanessa, his smile replaced with a look of concern. The riverbed below is dried up, devoid of water. However, there are some legs lying in the riverbed, coming from underneath the bridge itself (which presumably hides the body's upper-half).
TROY: Everything okay?
Next page.
TROY: Remember when we were kids and we'd come out here to play hide and seek?
2 - Vanessa walks along the bridge wall, holding Troy's hand (more for the sake of holding it than out of necessity). She looks down at him and he up at her. She might hold her opposite arm out for balance.
VANESSA: I remember that whenever I was it you would all sneak home.
3 - Focus on Vanessa, who after going a bit off-balance, has let go of Troy's hand and flailed her arms out to help stabilize herself. She ends up leaning over the side of the bridge and looking down. Her expression changes to a mix of puzzlement and shock.
VANESSA: I'd look for ages, but I'd never find any...
4 - Focus on Troy. He kept walking while Vanessa caught her balance and has gotten a bit ahead of her. He stops and looks up at her over his shoulder, the same lovey dovey smile on his face. Vanessa has completely regained her balance and stands straight. She's still looking down over the side of the bridge, but perhaps frame the panel so we don't see her upper body (due to focusing on Troy and Vanessa being higher up).
VANESSA: ...one
TROY: Van?
5 - Switch to a bird's eye view, looking down on the bridge and the couple. Vanessa is still looking over the side of the bridge; Troy has turned around completely to look at Vanessa, his smile replaced with a look of concern. The riverbed below is dried up, devoid of water. However, there are some legs lying in the riverbed, coming from underneath the bridge itself (which presumably hides the body's upper-half).
TROY: Everything okay?
Next page.
Friday, November 11, 2016
Noirvember - The Beaten Path - Page 5
Start from the beginning.
1 - On Carson and Stephen standing at the edge of the cliff, looking down towards the lake (which is not visible).
CARSON: Shit.
2 - Pull out and up (like a aerial shot moving away) to show more of the cliff face, although the water is not yet visible. Carson has already turned and is walking away. Stephen is still at the cliff edge, but looks towards his partner.
STEPHEN: What do we do now?
CARSON: Only thing we can.
3 - Continue pulling away. The lake is visible now (although Ronnie's body is not).
CARSON (tailless): Tell the boss we had car trouble.
4 - Far enough to show the entire lake. A little beyond it, a road / truck stop / piece of civilization is visible - Carson and Stephen were not as far away as they may have thought.
CARSON (taillless): ...and that we never did find Ronnie.
1 - On Carson and Stephen standing at the edge of the cliff, looking down towards the lake (which is not visible).
CARSON: Shit.
2 - Pull out and up (like a aerial shot moving away) to show more of the cliff face, although the water is not yet visible. Carson has already turned and is walking away. Stephen is still at the cliff edge, but looks towards his partner.
STEPHEN: What do we do now?
CARSON: Only thing we can.
3 - Continue pulling away. The lake is visible now (although Ronnie's body is not).
CARSON (tailless): Tell the boss we had car trouble.
4 - Far enough to show the entire lake. A little beyond it, a road / truck stop / piece of civilization is visible - Carson and Stephen were not as far away as they may have thought.
CARSON (taillless): ...and that we never did find Ronnie.
Thursday, November 10, 2016
Noirvember - The Beaten Path - Page 4
Start from the beginning.
1 - Establishing shot. We're looking onto a big lake in the middle of the forest. Trees line its shores, including a small cliff / escarpment coming off the water. The sun is starting to rise; the night is ending.
NO COPY
2 - Stephen and Carson are still in the forest (they're near the cliff edge, but that isn't necessarily obvious from this panel). Stephen has paused to wipe the sweat from his brow. He's put down Ronnie's feet to do so. Carson stands, still holding Ronnie's torso up. He looks far more tired and frustrated than Stephen. His eyes go wide in anger at Stephen's remark.
STEPHEN (1): *phew!*
STEPHEN (2): The boss is gonna be real mad at us.
CARSON: "Us"?
3 - Carson is enraged. He throws the body away from him in anger, sending it tumbling. Stephen hops back in surprise and mild fear.
CARSON (shouting): There is no "us"!
4 - Carson grabs Stephen by the shirt with one hand. Stephen's eyes go wide in fear. He points in the direction that Ronnie's body went, although Carson pays it no mind.
CARSON: You crashed the car!
STEPHEN (quietly): Carson...
5 - Carson raises the other fist high, ready to deck Stephen. Stephen continues to look and point towards where Ronnie's body went; Carson continues to not pick up on this.
CARSON: You shot Ronald!
6 - Carson unleashes a vicious haymaker, taking Stephen off his feet.
CARSON: And you "knew a shortcut"!
7 - On Stephen on his hands and knees on the ground (maybe he's coughing some blood or at least bleeding a bit). Carson can be seen looming over him, but the panel cuts him off around the waist or so. Stephen looks at something off-panel with great interest.
CARSON: I honestly don't know how you could make this any worse.
STEPHEN: Well...
8 - Switch to the edge of the cliff. There are some shrubs whose branches have been knocked away / off from Ronnie's body rolling through them. Open air lies beyond.
STEPHEN (off-panel): You could throw Ronnie off a cliff.
Next page.
1 - Establishing shot. We're looking onto a big lake in the middle of the forest. Trees line its shores, including a small cliff / escarpment coming off the water. The sun is starting to rise; the night is ending.
NO COPY
2 - Stephen and Carson are still in the forest (they're near the cliff edge, but that isn't necessarily obvious from this panel). Stephen has paused to wipe the sweat from his brow. He's put down Ronnie's feet to do so. Carson stands, still holding Ronnie's torso up. He looks far more tired and frustrated than Stephen. His eyes go wide in anger at Stephen's remark.
STEPHEN (1): *phew!*
STEPHEN (2): The boss is gonna be real mad at us.
CARSON: "Us"?
3 - Carson is enraged. He throws the body away from him in anger, sending it tumbling. Stephen hops back in surprise and mild fear.
CARSON (shouting): There is no "us"!
4 - Carson grabs Stephen by the shirt with one hand. Stephen's eyes go wide in fear. He points in the direction that Ronnie's body went, although Carson pays it no mind.
CARSON: You crashed the car!
STEPHEN (quietly): Carson...
5 - Carson raises the other fist high, ready to deck Stephen. Stephen continues to look and point towards where Ronnie's body went; Carson continues to not pick up on this.
CARSON: You shot Ronald!
6 - Carson unleashes a vicious haymaker, taking Stephen off his feet.
CARSON: And you "knew a shortcut"!
7 - On Stephen on his hands and knees on the ground (maybe he's coughing some blood or at least bleeding a bit). Carson can be seen looming over him, but the panel cuts him off around the waist or so. Stephen looks at something off-panel with great interest.
CARSON: I honestly don't know how you could make this any worse.
STEPHEN: Well...
8 - Switch to the edge of the cliff. There are some shrubs whose branches have been knocked away / off from Ronnie's body rolling through them. Open air lies beyond.
STEPHEN (off-panel): You could throw Ronnie off a cliff.
Next page.
Wednesday, November 9, 2016
Noirvember - The Beaten Path - Page 3
Start from the beginning.
1 - On the crashed car from page 1, but from the opposite side (looking from the forest). There is a police officer standing next to the car, peering into the driver's seat. He might have a flashlight. His cruiser could be visible parked on the side of the road behind him.
CARSON (off-panel, tailless): Shit.
2 - Carson and Stephen stand in the forest clearing, vaguely hiding behind some trees / branches. They look frustrated. Stephen reaches for where he put away his gun.
STEPHEN: What do we do now?
CARSON: Only thing we can.
3 - Close on the cop. He looks up from the car, a look of surprise / concern on his face.
COP: Hello?
4 - Smash cut to Carson and Stephen carrying Ronald's dead body through the forest. Stephen holds the legs, walking forward; while Carson brings up the rear, holding the head / arms awkwardly, trying the balance the briefcase on Ronald's torso. Carson is not having much success and looks like he's struggling.
NO COPY
Next page.
1 - On the crashed car from page 1, but from the opposite side (looking from the forest). There is a police officer standing next to the car, peering into the driver's seat. He might have a flashlight. His cruiser could be visible parked on the side of the road behind him.
CARSON (off-panel, tailless): Shit.
2 - Carson and Stephen stand in the forest clearing, vaguely hiding behind some trees / branches. They look frustrated. Stephen reaches for where he put away his gun.
STEPHEN: What do we do now?
CARSON: Only thing we can.
3 - Close on the cop. He looks up from the car, a look of surprise / concern on his face.
COP: Hello?
4 - Smash cut to Carson and Stephen carrying Ronald's dead body through the forest. Stephen holds the legs, walking forward; while Carson brings up the rear, holding the head / arms awkwardly, trying the balance the briefcase on Ronald's torso. Carson is not having much success and looks like he's struggling.
NO COPY
Next page.
Tuesday, November 8, 2016
Noirvember - The Beaten Path - Page 2
Start from the beginning.
1 - Carson shoves Stephen in the shoulder, putting Stephen off-balance. Carson looks disgusted; Stephen looks confused - this frustration has put him off-balance figuratively as well.
CARSON: "Shit"? You've just taken this man's life, and that's all you can manage?
STEPHEN: ...what?
CARSON: Ronald may have wronged our mutual employer, but what gives you the right to enact so final a judgement on him?
2 - Carson crouches down next to the open case, picking up muddy wads of cash and piling them back into the briefcase. He has a frown on his face. Stephen stands in the background, looking stunned and sheepish (he could also be putting his gun away absentmindedly).
STEPHEN: You're not being serious right now, are you?
3 - On Carson as he closes the suitcase with a shove - the money hasn't been piled nearly as well and it's overfull. Carson scoffs dismissively, a slight grin on his face to show that his little speech was in jest.
CARSON: Fuck no.
SFX: clik!
CARSON: Ronnie was an asshole.
4 - Bird's eye view looking down from above at the scene on the forest floor. Carson is up, wiping some dirt and mud off his pants (for what little it's doing him), turned away from the body and case. Stephen pauses above the body, looking down at it.
CARSON: But it would have been a lot easier to get him back to the car if he could walk.
5 - Carson is already walking away - perhaps even partly off-panel. The focus is on Stephen, who is still looking at the body. Maybe he's looking a little ill / uncomfortable.
CARSON: Come on. I've got a hacksaw in the backseat.
Next page.
1 - Carson shoves Stephen in the shoulder, putting Stephen off-balance. Carson looks disgusted; Stephen looks confused - this frustration has put him off-balance figuratively as well.
CARSON: "Shit"? You've just taken this man's life, and that's all you can manage?
STEPHEN: ...what?
CARSON: Ronald may have wronged our mutual employer, but what gives you the right to enact so final a judgement on him?
2 - Carson crouches down next to the open case, picking up muddy wads of cash and piling them back into the briefcase. He has a frown on his face. Stephen stands in the background, looking stunned and sheepish (he could also be putting his gun away absentmindedly).
STEPHEN: You're not being serious right now, are you?
CARSON: Fuck no.
SFX: clik!
CARSON: Ronnie was an asshole.
4 - Bird's eye view looking down from above at the scene on the forest floor. Carson is up, wiping some dirt and mud off his pants (for what little it's doing him), turned away from the body and case. Stephen pauses above the body, looking down at it.
CARSON: But it would have been a lot easier to get him back to the car if he could walk.
5 - Carson is already walking away - perhaps even partly off-panel. The focus is on Stephen, who is still looking at the body. Maybe he's looking a little ill / uncomfortable.
CARSON: Come on. I've got a hacksaw in the backseat.
Next page.
Monday, November 7, 2016
Noirvember - The Beaten Path - Page 1
I had a blast last year penning If On a Winter's Night for Noirvember, but recognizing I didn't have the time for another 30-page script, I'm scaling down for a series of 5-pagers throughout the month. We start this evening with The Beaten Path.
Those who have been following along at home will notice a striking resemblance to InkTober's Miscalculation. I hope you can forgive me building something larger from that original page.
NO COPY
2 - Within the forest, there are signs that a number of people have hastily moved through this area - broken branches, muddy tracks, and evidence of slipping and tripping. Once again, no one is visible.
NO COPY
3 - On an open briefcase sitting on the ground, overflowing with money. Some of it is in the mud, other bills have mud on them. There is a handcuff link around the briefcase's handle, the chain leading off-panel.
NO COPY
4 - On the opposite handcuff link, which is around a man's wrist (also lying in the mud). Not much more than the hand and wrist are visible, but it's clear the man is wearing a suit and that he has taken some injuries (cuts and bruises, etc).
NO COPY
5 - Reveal. The man who is handcuffed to the suitcase of money is lying dead in the forest. The cuts and bruises on the hand were just the beginning, as this guy was in sorry shape, but the bullet wound in the guy's chest looks to be a pretty clear cause of death. Two crooks, Carson and Stephen, stand on either side of the dead man, staring down at the body. Both also wear rumpled suits (with evidence of mud on their knees, elbows, and the like from the chase), although it must be said that Carson's is in much better condition, both because he was more careful and because he takes better care of his suit. Jones holds a smoking gun in one hand, still aimed in the direction of the fallen man. Both have expressions that are somewhere between neutral and shocked.
NO COPY
6 - Repeat panel. Carson closes his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration. Stephen glances down absently at his gun, turning it to look at its side.
Thursday, October 27, 2016
InkTober - Be It Resolved
1 - Establishing shot of a cottage in the woods on New Year's Eve. It's snowing. There are a half-dozen cars parked out front, all but one covered in the falling snow. Dave walks towards the front door, although he's coming from the direction opposite of the parked cars (as if he's just walked from around the cottage's corner).
CAPTION (DAVE): You know those moments when you think "This is a future me problem"?
2 - Inside the cottage. Dave stamps his feet as he takes off his jacket, wiping off the snow that's gathered on him as he comes in the front door. His girlfriend Kate greets him with a kiss on the cheek, perhaps with a look of surprise at how cold his cheek is. You don't need to see it on this panel, but they're at a gathering of friends, ready to celebrate the New Year.
CAPTION (DAVE): They always feel like such a good idea, but one way or another, it always blows up in your face.
DAVE: It's really coming down out there!
KATE: Gosh, you're so cold!
3 - Dave, Kate, and a good number of their 20-something year old friends are gathered around a TV, drinking, celebrating, and sharing kisses (as the case may be) to ring in the New Year. Frame so they are facing the reader (and TV), with the cottage wall behind them. There should be a window looking out into the night.
CAPTION (DAVE): Well, no more.
ALL: 3...2...1!
4 - Move closer to the window. Some evidence of the revelry may still be evident, but the focus is the window itself.
CAPTION (DAVE): From now on, I'm going to deal with my problems as soon as they come up. I won't leave things to rot and fester anymore.
ALL (off-panel): Happy New Year!
5 - Move through the window to look outside. A dead body lays in the snow behind the cottage, already being covered by the falling flakes.
CAPTION (DAVE): Yep.
6 - The body is now covered and all that can be seen is the freshly fallen down.
CAPTION (DAVE): This year's going to be different.
CAPTION (DAVE): You know those moments when you think "This is a future me problem"?
2 - Inside the cottage. Dave stamps his feet as he takes off his jacket, wiping off the snow that's gathered on him as he comes in the front door. His girlfriend Kate greets him with a kiss on the cheek, perhaps with a look of surprise at how cold his cheek is. You don't need to see it on this panel, but they're at a gathering of friends, ready to celebrate the New Year.
CAPTION (DAVE): They always feel like such a good idea, but one way or another, it always blows up in your face.
DAVE: It's really coming down out there!
KATE: Gosh, you're so cold!
3 - Dave, Kate, and a good number of their 20-something year old friends are gathered around a TV, drinking, celebrating, and sharing kisses (as the case may be) to ring in the New Year. Frame so they are facing the reader (and TV), with the cottage wall behind them. There should be a window looking out into the night.
CAPTION (DAVE): Well, no more.
ALL: 3...2...1!
4 - Move closer to the window. Some evidence of the revelry may still be evident, but the focus is the window itself.
CAPTION (DAVE): From now on, I'm going to deal with my problems as soon as they come up. I won't leave things to rot and fester anymore.
ALL (off-panel): Happy New Year!
5 - Move through the window to look outside. A dead body lays in the snow behind the cottage, already being covered by the falling flakes.
CAPTION (DAVE): Yep.
6 - The body is now covered and all that can be seen is the freshly fallen down.
CAPTION (DAVE): This year's going to be different.
Tuesday, October 25, 2016
InkTober - City Lights
1 - Establishing shot of a city at night. The skyscrapers and lights sparkle in the darkness, a literal beacon in the wilderness around it (probably a desert-scape beyond the city limits). Frame the view so a road passes by and off-panel at the bottom left or right of the panel - our perspective is long outside the city limits.
CAPTION: Is there anything more amazing than a city at night?
2 - Repeat panel, but a car is driving down the road. It's still in the distance, but it's obviously moving away from the city and towards the reader.
CAPTION: There's an almost supernatural beauty that is without equal.
3 - Repeat panel. The car is nearly at panel's edge. It's pulling off the road, kicking up some dust.
CAPTION: I've always loved it.
4 - Repeat panel. The car's backdoor opens and a mook throws a battered and bruised gentleman out of the car.
MOOK: And stay out!
5 - Repeat panel. The car is driving back towards the city. The gentleman raises himself up on his elbows, looking morosely towards the city.
CAPTION: I just wish it loved me back.
CAPTION: Is there anything more amazing than a city at night?
2 - Repeat panel, but a car is driving down the road. It's still in the distance, but it's obviously moving away from the city and towards the reader.
CAPTION: There's an almost supernatural beauty that is without equal.
3 - Repeat panel. The car is nearly at panel's edge. It's pulling off the road, kicking up some dust.
CAPTION: I've always loved it.
4 - Repeat panel. The car's backdoor opens and a mook throws a battered and bruised gentleman out of the car.
MOOK: And stay out!
5 - Repeat panel. The car is driving back towards the city. The gentleman raises himself up on his elbows, looking morosely towards the city.
CAPTION: I just wish it loved me back.
Saturday, October 22, 2016
InkTober - Sell Out
1 - On Rick, an old school punk rocker. He's got a purple mohawk, dark shades, more piercings than you'd expect, rippled leather vest, plaid pants, suspenders, and a big ol' smile. He walks with a swagger in a dank bar where a show's going on.
CAPTION (RICK): There's something special about a mosh pit.
2 - Rick's into the bar's mosh pit, going at it with all manner of similar attired folk. It's wild but they're having a good time.
CAPTION (RICK): There's an energy you won't find anywhere else.
3 - A younger kid bails and is lying on the ground. It looks like the pit's going on without noticing; he curls up a bit, instinctively trying to protect himself.
CAPTION (RICK): Everyone on the same wavelength.
4 - As the pit keeps moshing, Rick pauses and grabs the kid's forearm, pulling him back up to his feet. The two exchange a smile - the kid of relief, Rick of something else.
CAPTION (RICK): When someone goes down, you help them up.
5 - Someone accidentally bumps into the kid from behind, knocking him into Rick. Rick looks a little surprised; the kid looks absolutely shocked and pained.
CAPTION (RICK): But pits are still creatures of chaos.
6 - The kid is down again, doubled into himself. This time around, the pit has stopped. Nearby people are kneeling down to see if he's alright. Rick is off and walking away from it all, his back to the reader.
CAPTION (RICK): Bad things can come from even the best of places.
7 - Close on Rick's upper-body. He holds a bloody knife that he's wiping on his vest.
CAPTION (RICK): Not to mention the worst.
CAPTION (RICK): There's something special about a mosh pit.
2 - Rick's into the bar's mosh pit, going at it with all manner of similar attired folk. It's wild but they're having a good time.
CAPTION (RICK): There's an energy you won't find anywhere else.
3 - A younger kid bails and is lying on the ground. It looks like the pit's going on without noticing; he curls up a bit, instinctively trying to protect himself.
CAPTION (RICK): Everyone on the same wavelength.
4 - As the pit keeps moshing, Rick pauses and grabs the kid's forearm, pulling him back up to his feet. The two exchange a smile - the kid of relief, Rick of something else.
CAPTION (RICK): When someone goes down, you help them up.
5 - Someone accidentally bumps into the kid from behind, knocking him into Rick. Rick looks a little surprised; the kid looks absolutely shocked and pained.
CAPTION (RICK): But pits are still creatures of chaos.
6 - The kid is down again, doubled into himself. This time around, the pit has stopped. Nearby people are kneeling down to see if he's alright. Rick is off and walking away from it all, his back to the reader.
CAPTION (RICK): Bad things can come from even the best of places.
7 - Close on Rick's upper-body. He holds a bloody knife that he's wiping on his vest.
CAPTION (RICK): Not to mention the worst.
Friday, October 21, 2016
InkTober - Struggle
1 - Close on Kate's face. Her eyes are wide with fear. Her hand covers her mouth, as if in shock and horror. The background details are not visible here.
NO COPY
2 - Pull out to show Kate is standing on an apartment building balcony. She keeps the one hand covering her mouth in horror; the other holds onto the balcony railing, as if bracing herself. It's not clear how high up she is, but she is alone. The sliding door is open behind her.
NO COPY
3 - Kate holds the same position, but her expression shifts - she looks determined here, like she's come to a decision.
NO COPY
4 - Kate holds the look of determination, but lets go of the balcony railing and taps her lip pensively with the hand that was previously covering her mouth.
KATE: He fell.
5 - Kate has gone inside, leaving the balcony empty. She is not visible.
KATE (from within): Hello, 911?
NO COPY
2 - Pull out to show Kate is standing on an apartment building balcony. She keeps the one hand covering her mouth in horror; the other holds onto the balcony railing, as if bracing herself. It's not clear how high up she is, but she is alone. The sliding door is open behind her.
NO COPY
3 - Kate holds the same position, but her expression shifts - she looks determined here, like she's come to a decision.
NO COPY
4 - Kate holds the look of determination, but lets go of the balcony railing and taps her lip pensively with the hand that was previously covering her mouth.
KATE: He fell.
5 - Kate has gone inside, leaving the balcony empty. She is not visible.
KATE (from within): Hello, 911?
Thursday, October 20, 2016
InkTober - Black
1 - Inside a Starbucks-esque coffee shop. We're looking onto the cash from the side. Two relatively well-dressed gentlemen, Jacob and Daryl, are getting their coffee - three cups in one of those holding trays. The barista isn't visible (beyond their hands / arms offering the coffee) - maybe a coffee machine blocks them from view? The focus is the two gentlemen, but maybe have them off-centre in the framing. It probably wouldn't be obvious that it's night time, but maybe the shop's neon lights are particularly bright / harsh.
BARISTA: Here are your drinks.
JACOB: Thanks.
2 - Jacob and Daryl are walking out of the shop. Jacob is holding the door fro Daryl; Daryl is holding the tray of coffee. Jacob looks in concern at something off-panel; Daryl is focused on the coffee.
DARYL (1): God. That took forever. I'll never understand people who go for that fancyass coffee stuff. Black is all you need, you know?
DARYL (2): She better appreciate this peace offering.
JACOB: Daryl...
3 - Jacob and Daryl are standing next to the back seat of their car, looking down in disbelief. What they're looking at is not yet visible.
JACOB: Remember when I said we should have used zip ties?
4 - Reverse angle to show what Jacob and Daryl are looking at. The car's backseat window is broken (smashed outwards) and loose rope is splayed on the backseat. Jacob and Daryl could frame the window, standing to either side, backs to the reader (or already looking for where the woman went?).
JACOB: We should have used zip ties.
BARISTA: Here are your drinks.
JACOB: Thanks.
2 - Jacob and Daryl are walking out of the shop. Jacob is holding the door fro Daryl; Daryl is holding the tray of coffee. Jacob looks in concern at something off-panel; Daryl is focused on the coffee.
DARYL (1): God. That took forever. I'll never understand people who go for that fancyass coffee stuff. Black is all you need, you know?
DARYL (2): She better appreciate this peace offering.
JACOB: Daryl...
3 - Jacob and Daryl are standing next to the back seat of their car, looking down in disbelief. What they're looking at is not yet visible.
JACOB: Remember when I said we should have used zip ties?
4 - Reverse angle to show what Jacob and Daryl are looking at. The car's backseat window is broken (smashed outwards) and loose rope is splayed on the backseat. Jacob and Daryl could frame the window, standing to either side, backs to the reader (or already looking for where the woman went?).
JACOB: We should have used zip ties.
InkTober - Overwhelming
1 - We're in a flooded town. Night time. The water might not be right up to house's second stories, but it's not that far off either. In what would be the street, two men, Quentin and Nick float along in a boat that's filled with ill-gotten gains - laptops, maybe some TVs, some bags filled with jewelry or whatever. Quentin rows, while Nick holds a flashlight to try to help direct their vessel.
QUENTIN: I still feel kinda bad about this.
NICK: Why? There ain't no one around, Quent.
2 - Nick spreads his arms wide to indicate the neighbourhood ahead of them - maybe channel some Titanic in here. That said, Nick makes a surprised face as someone yells from off-panel. Quentin also looks over in surprise.
NICK: It's like a victim-less crime! Everyone who's anyone got out way before things got ba--
VOICE (off-panel): Hey!
3 - A man stands on the rooftop of one of the neighbourhood's houses. He looks scruffy and somewhat unkempt (as if he's been stranded there for a few days). Nick, Quentin, and their boat are visible. Quentin looks on, while Nick tries to get them focused back on looting.
MAN: Hey! You two! You gotta help me out!
NICK: Ignore it, man.
4 - Close on Quentin, who looks conflicted between not wanting to disappoint Nick and wanting to help out this man.
NICK (off-panel): Just ignore it.
MAN (off-panel): Help! Please!
QUENTIN: I still feel kinda bad about this.
NICK: Why? There ain't no one around, Quent.
2 - Nick spreads his arms wide to indicate the neighbourhood ahead of them - maybe channel some Titanic in here. That said, Nick makes a surprised face as someone yells from off-panel. Quentin also looks over in surprise.
NICK: It's like a victim-less crime! Everyone who's anyone got out way before things got ba--
VOICE (off-panel): Hey!
3 - A man stands on the rooftop of one of the neighbourhood's houses. He looks scruffy and somewhat unkempt (as if he's been stranded there for a few days). Nick, Quentin, and their boat are visible. Quentin looks on, while Nick tries to get them focused back on looting.
MAN: Hey! You two! You gotta help me out!
NICK: Ignore it, man.
4 - Close on Quentin, who looks conflicted between not wanting to disappoint Nick and wanting to help out this man.
NICK (off-panel): Just ignore it.
MAN (off-panel): Help! Please!
Tuesday, October 18, 2016
InkTober - Easy Peasy
1 - Close on bolt cutters ripping through a locked chain holding a chain link fence shut. It's night time.
MICKIE (off-panel): Security's about as tight as you'd expect for paper.
2 - On Carson and Mickie as they walk towards the warehouse in the lot they've just broken into. Carson gestures to the building in front of them. The now open chain link fence could be in the background, if desired.
CARSON (1): Well, as far as the cops are concerned, this place is a big waste of space now that they've got everything up in the cloud.
CARSON (2): But once that cowboy were hired hacks their system into oblivion, the files in here will be the only ones they have.
3 - Carson and Mickie stop at the door to the warehouse. Carson elbows the window (either in the door or next to it) open, breaking it.
CARSON: So all we gotta do is snag ours, and as far as the cops know, it'll be like we never existed.
SFX: krssh!
4 - From inside the warehouse, Carson reaches through the broken glass and opens the door from the inside.
CARSON: Believe you me, this is gonna to be a walk in the park.
5 - Carson and Mickie are now inside the warehouse. Pull back to show that there are stacks and stacks of shelves, boxes, filling cabinets, and the like. It's like that warehouse from Indiana Jones theres so much stuff. Carson and Mickie are small in comparison to the wealth of things in there.
CARSON (quietly): A very large, very overwhelming park...
MICKIE (off-panel): Security's about as tight as you'd expect for paper.
2 - On Carson and Mickie as they walk towards the warehouse in the lot they've just broken into. Carson gestures to the building in front of them. The now open chain link fence could be in the background, if desired.
CARSON (1): Well, as far as the cops are concerned, this place is a big waste of space now that they've got everything up in the cloud.
CARSON (2): But once that cowboy were hired hacks their system into oblivion, the files in here will be the only ones they have.
3 - Carson and Mickie stop at the door to the warehouse. Carson elbows the window (either in the door or next to it) open, breaking it.
CARSON: So all we gotta do is snag ours, and as far as the cops know, it'll be like we never existed.
SFX: krssh!
4 - From inside the warehouse, Carson reaches through the broken glass and opens the door from the inside.
CARSON: Believe you me, this is gonna to be a walk in the park.
5 - Carson and Mickie are now inside the warehouse. Pull back to show that there are stacks and stacks of shelves, boxes, filling cabinets, and the like. It's like that warehouse from Indiana Jones theres so much stuff. Carson and Mickie are small in comparison to the wealth of things in there.
CARSON (quietly): A very large, very overwhelming park...
Monday, October 17, 2016
InkTober - Work It
1 - A top down view of a fit dude doing some bench prench in a gym. Frame so the panel looks straight on at him, cutting him off a little above the waist, with some open space at the top for the weights and equipment. He looks straight up at the ceiling, grimacing madly (which is also right towards the reader). He holds the barbell high in the air.
WOMAN (off-panel): Um, excuse me...
2 - A woman comes into the top of the frame, looking down at the weightlifter. She's also in exercise gear, hands on her hips, although we can only see the back of her head. The weightlifter brings the barbell close to his chest, still grimacing at the ceiling.
WOMAN: I see you here every day working so hard.
3 - The woman puts a hand to her face coquettishly (is that doable if we're looking from behind?). The man keeps pumping iron, bringing the barbell down to his chest on another rep, grimace never wavering.
WOMAN: And, well, I gotta ask...
4 - Flash forward to that evening. We're in the same set shot of the weightlifter, but he's in street clothes - t-shirt, jacket, that kind of thing. He also has sky above him (maybe a streetlight or something to help emphasize this), meaning the panel is looking up instead of down. He wears the same grimace, but he has one hand and arm down off-panel and the other cocked back, ready to unleash a wicked haymaker. The hand that's doling out the violence drips a bit of blood (and there might be some splatter on his t-shirt).
CAPTION (WOMAN): "What are you doing later?"
5 - Back to the gym shot. The woman has her hands on her hips again. The weightlifter keeps pumping away.
WOMAN (1): ...
WOMAN (2): Hello?
6 - Repeat that gym shot one last time. The woman is eight walking away or already gone. The weightlifter just pumps away.
WOMAN: Whatever, dude.
WOMAN (off-panel): Um, excuse me...
2 - A woman comes into the top of the frame, looking down at the weightlifter. She's also in exercise gear, hands on her hips, although we can only see the back of her head. The weightlifter brings the barbell close to his chest, still grimacing at the ceiling.
WOMAN: I see you here every day working so hard.
3 - The woman puts a hand to her face coquettishly (is that doable if we're looking from behind?). The man keeps pumping iron, bringing the barbell down to his chest on another rep, grimace never wavering.
WOMAN: And, well, I gotta ask...
4 - Flash forward to that evening. We're in the same set shot of the weightlifter, but he's in street clothes - t-shirt, jacket, that kind of thing. He also has sky above him (maybe a streetlight or something to help emphasize this), meaning the panel is looking up instead of down. He wears the same grimace, but he has one hand and arm down off-panel and the other cocked back, ready to unleash a wicked haymaker. The hand that's doling out the violence drips a bit of blood (and there might be some splatter on his t-shirt).
CAPTION (WOMAN): "What are you doing later?"
5 - Back to the gym shot. The woman has her hands on her hips again. The weightlifter keeps pumping away.
WOMAN (1): ...
WOMAN (2): Hello?
6 - Repeat that gym shot one last time. The woman is eight walking away or already gone. The weightlifter just pumps away.
WOMAN: Whatever, dude.
Sunday, October 16, 2016
InkTober - Surprise
1 - Clay and Walker are standing on the back porch of a pretty nice looking house in the suburbs. It's night time. Clay wears a mask and gingerly looks at the pistol he's holding. Walker also holds a pistol, but has his mask up, trying to psyche Clay up, some irritation clear on his face.
CLAY: Are you sure about this?
WALKER: Don't worry! Mr. Kuplinskas is an old man. We'll give him a good scare, he'll give us the goods, and we'll be home in time for the Cosmo Voyage finale.
2 - Walker shoulders the backdoor open with a "crunch". His mask is now down.
WALKER: Seriously...
SFX: Krnch!
3 - Pull back to provide a more complete view of the house. No movement is visible.
CAPTION (WALKER): It'll be a piece of cake.
4 - Repeat the shot of the the house, but with a huge "BLAM!" sfx - perhaps around the outside of the house itself.
SFX: BLAM!
5 - Repeat once again, but now some house lights are on and Walker and Clay are running out from the back of the house. Walker is hoping the fence to the alley behind. Clay is still on his way, holding his side with one hand.
SFX: BLAM!BLAM!BLAM!
6 - Clay and Walker stand in an alleyway, catching their breath. They're both sweating, breathing heavy. Frame so the two are visible from the chest up.
WALKER: Okay, that could have gone better.
CLAY: Man, I really hope you PVRed Cosmo Voyage.
7 - On Clay as he removes his hand from his side, revealing that he's been shot and is bleeding from his gut. His hand is covered in blood. He looks in a bad way.
CLAY: ...'cuz I got a feeling I'm going to miss it.
CLAY: Are you sure about this?
WALKER: Don't worry! Mr. Kuplinskas is an old man. We'll give him a good scare, he'll give us the goods, and we'll be home in time for the Cosmo Voyage finale.
2 - Walker shoulders the backdoor open with a "crunch". His mask is now down.
WALKER: Seriously...
SFX: Krnch!
3 - Pull back to provide a more complete view of the house. No movement is visible.
CAPTION (WALKER): It'll be a piece of cake.
4 - Repeat the shot of the the house, but with a huge "BLAM!" sfx - perhaps around the outside of the house itself.
SFX: BLAM!
5 - Repeat once again, but now some house lights are on and Walker and Clay are running out from the back of the house. Walker is hoping the fence to the alley behind. Clay is still on his way, holding his side with one hand.
SFX: BLAM!BLAM!BLAM!
6 - Clay and Walker stand in an alleyway, catching their breath. They're both sweating, breathing heavy. Frame so the two are visible from the chest up.
WALKER: Okay, that could have gone better.
CLAY: Man, I really hope you PVRed Cosmo Voyage.
7 - On Clay as he removes his hand from his side, revealing that he's been shot and is bleeding from his gut. His hand is covered in blood. He looks in a bad way.
CLAY: ...'cuz I got a feeling I'm going to miss it.
Saturday, October 15, 2016
InkTober - Mistakes
1 - Marco is robbing a bank, standing with a duffle of cash in one hand and a raised gun in another. He wears an aggressive expression and barks at someone off-panel.
CAPTION: Everyone makes mistakes.
2 - Marco is being arrested. A cop escorts him towards a cruiser. Marco is grim, a new wound bleeding from his forehead.
CAPTION: If we're lucky, we learn from them.
3 - Marco sits in a courtroom. He is mad.
CAPTION: We grow.
4 - Marco sits on a bed in a jail cell. He is expressionless.
CAPTION: It can take time.
5 - Marco sits in a prison counselling circle. He fights back tears as he speaks.
CAPTION: But we can see the errors of our ways.
6 - Marco stands with his civilian clothes in a pile. He's being released. He looks hopeful.
CAPTION: Become better people for it all.
7 - Marco is robbing another bank. While he's older and maybe wears slightly shabbier clothing, it's pretty much the same scene as panel 1.
NO COPY
8 - Marco is back in jail, sitting on a prison bed. He is once again expressionless.
CAPTION: If we're lucky.
CAPTION: Everyone makes mistakes.
2 - Marco is being arrested. A cop escorts him towards a cruiser. Marco is grim, a new wound bleeding from his forehead.
CAPTION: If we're lucky, we learn from them.
3 - Marco sits in a courtroom. He is mad.
CAPTION: We grow.
4 - Marco sits on a bed in a jail cell. He is expressionless.
CAPTION: It can take time.
5 - Marco sits in a prison counselling circle. He fights back tears as he speaks.
CAPTION: But we can see the errors of our ways.
6 - Marco stands with his civilian clothes in a pile. He's being released. He looks hopeful.
CAPTION: Become better people for it all.
7 - Marco is robbing another bank. While he's older and maybe wears slightly shabbier clothing, it's pretty much the same scene as panel 1.
NO COPY
8 - Marco is back in jail, sitting on a prison bed. He is once again expressionless.
CAPTION: If we're lucky.
InkTober - Accidents
1 - On an ambulance's rear view mirror. Marv, the ambulance driver, looks into the mirror in concern. His hand is holding the mirror as he adjusts it, obscuring part of it. The mirror should take up the bulk of the panel, if not acting as the panel, going the width of the page.
MARV: How we doing back there?
2 - The ambulance interior. Robert, another paramedic, is working above Lance, who is laid out in the gurney, covered in blood. Lance holds an arm to his chest, as if in pain. Robert's hands and arms are covered in blood as he works to figure out what's happened.
ROBERT (1): Be a lot better when we get to the hospital.
ROBERT (2): Guy's lost a lot of blood.
LANCE (weakly): Don't worry...
3 - Lance moves his hand from his chest, having drawn a gun from inside his coat. He aims it at Robert. Robert freezes, surprised and terrified. Marv looks back, equally surprised.
LANCE: Most of it ain't mine.
MARV: What the--!
4 - The ambulance lurches widely to the side as it swerves towards the sidewalk. It's night time and the back window is bright against the darkness outside.
SFX: pap! pap! pap!
5 - The ambulance crashes into a telephone pull with a lurch. The light from the window is out.
SFX: KRRRSSSH!
6 - Lance has exited the crashed ambulance and is limping away into the night. Part of Robert's body may be visible through the ambukance's open backdoor, but it isn't strictly necessary.
NO COPY
Thursday, October 13, 2016
InkTober - Cold Shoulder
1 - Rodrigue is standing out in the winter cold. He has a jacket that's maybe a little too light for the weather and a scarf to cover his lower face, but he's clearly miserable. Hugging himself for warmth is not cutting it. Behind him, some grand steps lead up to a fancy looking building - big glass windows and the like - but the interior is not visible.
NO COPY
2 - Rodrigue sees something off-panel that catches his eye. He raises his hands in indignation, not any happier.
RODRIGUE: Jesus! Did you have to take so long?
3 - Chuck walks into the scene. He's wearing a big puffy jacket, snow pants, a balaclava, and pretty much anything else you'd imagine to be warm in Antartica. He is grossly overdressed. He's also defensive at Rodrigue, who's only gotten more aggressive.
CHUCK: What? It's not even 1 o'clock?
RODRIGUE (1): We agreed on noon!
RODRIGUE (2): I've been standing out here like an asshole freezing my dick off!
CHUCK: Oh.
4 - Chuck puts one hand up in surrender, reaching into his coat with the other. He is contrite. Rodrigue is not wholly placated, but he seems willing to let it slide for the moment. While he keeps one hand around himself in a futile effort to keep warm, he uses the other hand to reach for something under his jacket along his spine.
CHUCK: Alright, my bad. But could we please yell about this after?
RODRIGUE: Fine.
5 - Pull out to reveal that Rodrigue has been waiting outside "First National Bank". The two men have drawn guns and are walking towards the entrance.
RODRIGUE: Let's do this.
NO COPY
2 - Rodrigue sees something off-panel that catches his eye. He raises his hands in indignation, not any happier.
RODRIGUE: Jesus! Did you have to take so long?
3 - Chuck walks into the scene. He's wearing a big puffy jacket, snow pants, a balaclava, and pretty much anything else you'd imagine to be warm in Antartica. He is grossly overdressed. He's also defensive at Rodrigue, who's only gotten more aggressive.
CHUCK: What? It's not even 1 o'clock?
RODRIGUE (1): We agreed on noon!
RODRIGUE (2): I've been standing out here like an asshole freezing my dick off!
CHUCK: Oh.
4 - Chuck puts one hand up in surrender, reaching into his coat with the other. He is contrite. Rodrigue is not wholly placated, but he seems willing to let it slide for the moment. While he keeps one hand around himself in a futile effort to keep warm, he uses the other hand to reach for something under his jacket along his spine.
CHUCK: Alright, my bad. But could we please yell about this after?
RODRIGUE: Fine.
5 - Pull out to reveal that Rodrigue has been waiting outside "First National Bank". The two men have drawn guns and are walking towards the entrance.
RODRIGUE: Let's do this.
Wednesday, October 12, 2016
InkTober - Over Easy
We're in a truckstop-esque diner after some gun violence has gone down.
1 - Establishing shot of said truckstop diner. The sign reads "Earls". The interior isn't really visible from this angle, but at least one of the windows is shattered. One or two others might have bullet holes.
NO COPY
2 - On the stove in the kitchen. Two or three pans are on the stove, the food burning (or well past burned). There's some bullet holes about, and possibly a blood smear on the front of the stove, but the cook it belonged to is not visible.
NO COPY
3 - Shot of the counter with the cash register. A waitress' legs are visible splayed beyond the counter's edge, although no more can be seen. Bullet holes pock the wall and counter.
NO COPY
4 - A number of tables and chairs are overturned as dinners tried to get out. They were seemingly unsuccessful, but again, the majority of their bodies are obstructed by the tables and chairs. Bullet holes and some blood are once again visible.
NO COPY
5 - Mason sits at a booth, calmly eating his breakfast. Dubois sits across from him, mouth agape in his surprise. A submachine gun lies on the table between them.
DUBOIS: Remind me to never overcook your eggs.
1 - Establishing shot of said truckstop diner. The sign reads "Earls". The interior isn't really visible from this angle, but at least one of the windows is shattered. One or two others might have bullet holes.
NO COPY
2 - On the stove in the kitchen. Two or three pans are on the stove, the food burning (or well past burned). There's some bullet holes about, and possibly a blood smear on the front of the stove, but the cook it belonged to is not visible.
NO COPY
3 - Shot of the counter with the cash register. A waitress' legs are visible splayed beyond the counter's edge, although no more can be seen. Bullet holes pock the wall and counter.
NO COPY
4 - A number of tables and chairs are overturned as dinners tried to get out. They were seemingly unsuccessful, but again, the majority of their bodies are obstructed by the tables and chairs. Bullet holes and some blood are once again visible.
NO COPY
5 - Mason sits at a booth, calmly eating his breakfast. Dubois sits across from him, mouth agape in his surprise. A submachine gun lies on the table between them.
DUBOIS: Remind me to never overcook your eggs.
Tuesday, October 11, 2016
InkTober - Good Boy
1 - Inset panel on two friends, Tracy and Josh. They're in a dark room, looking at something off-panel that's giving them confused expressions, with fear possibly creeping in.
TRACY: Josh...
2 - Reverse angle for an over the shoulder shot. Tracy and Josh are looking at a dark hallway, with red eyes glowing from the darkness malevolently. Worth noting, while all the eyes belong to the same creature, there's 8 or so, like a giant, terrifying spider.
TRACY: What is that?
SFX: grrrrr...
3 - Outside, focused on a nondescript brick building. Tracy and Josh are already out the front door, running as fast as they can off to the right. Fear is fully plastered on their faces.
NO COPY
4 - Repeat panel, but Tracy and Josh are out of sight. Nothing moves.
NO COPY
5 - Repeat panel, but the creature from panel 2 bursts through the wall of the brick building next to the door. The thing is a massive dog that is taller than the doorway and decked out in all manner of cyborg parts and armour, including a "mask" on its face that glows with 8 red eyes.
SFX: BOOM!
6 - The giant cyber-dog chases after Tracy and Josh, going all out as it lets out an equally huge bark.
CYBER-DOG: WOOF! WOOF!
TRACY: Josh...
2 - Reverse angle for an over the shoulder shot. Tracy and Josh are looking at a dark hallway, with red eyes glowing from the darkness malevolently. Worth noting, while all the eyes belong to the same creature, there's 8 or so, like a giant, terrifying spider.
TRACY: What is that?
SFX: grrrrr...
3 - Outside, focused on a nondescript brick building. Tracy and Josh are already out the front door, running as fast as they can off to the right. Fear is fully plastered on their faces.
NO COPY
4 - Repeat panel, but Tracy and Josh are out of sight. Nothing moves.
NO COPY
5 - Repeat panel, but the creature from panel 2 bursts through the wall of the brick building next to the door. The thing is a massive dog that is taller than the doorway and decked out in all manner of cyborg parts and armour, including a "mask" on its face that glows with 8 red eyes.
SFX: BOOM!
6 - The giant cyber-dog chases after Tracy and Josh, going all out as it lets out an equally huge bark.
CYBER-DOG: WOOF! WOOF!
Monday, October 10, 2016
InkTober - Do Over
1 - We're in a futuristic mega-city. There's skyscrapers everywhere and they're all huge. Also some flying cars, holographic advertisements, and all that good stuff. However, this is all background to our protagonist, Halley, who is a fast-talking ne'er-do-well, is currently plummeting down to earth, quickly passing by this jungle of buildings and technology on her one-way journey. She's not looking great, but in her hand is a cylindrical device with a green light on the bottom and a button on top. She's currently pressing that button and is being surrounded by green lights / rays that are the same colour as the green on the device.
HALLEY: AHHHH!
2 - This time Halley is in a flying car that is heading for a crash landing into the bay next to the city. She's screaming in terror. The rear of the car is on fire. Once again, she's holding that cylindrical device and is surrounded by those green lights / rays.
NO COPY
3 - Halley is standing in a bar, all manner of lasers flying at her, fired by unseen foes. She has her arms up in the air in a useless attempt to protect herself. Cue the cylindrical device and green lights around her.
NO COPY
4 - A nondescript room. A steel table sits in the foreground, some shelves in the back. Green light / rays coalesce in the space in between the two.
NO COPY
5 - Repeat panel 4, but Halley has appeared, holding the same position as in panel 3, cylindrical device in hand. She opens one eye experimentally to see where she is.
NO COPY
6 - Halley puts the cylindrical device on the table. It projects a small holographic image of her holding the position from panel 3 and 5, as if the moment is frozen in time (the holographic is, of course, green).
HALLEY: Shit.
7 - Reveal panel. Halley is in a large warehouse filled with tables. Said tables are covered in loads of these cylindrical devices, each one projecting a different green holographic image above. Halley stands at the back, dwarfed by this large room.
HALLEY: What do I keep doing wrong?
HALLEY: AHHHH!
2 - This time Halley is in a flying car that is heading for a crash landing into the bay next to the city. She's screaming in terror. The rear of the car is on fire. Once again, she's holding that cylindrical device and is surrounded by those green lights / rays.
NO COPY
3 - Halley is standing in a bar, all manner of lasers flying at her, fired by unseen foes. She has her arms up in the air in a useless attempt to protect herself. Cue the cylindrical device and green lights around her.
NO COPY
4 - A nondescript room. A steel table sits in the foreground, some shelves in the back. Green light / rays coalesce in the space in between the two.
NO COPY
5 - Repeat panel 4, but Halley has appeared, holding the same position as in panel 3, cylindrical device in hand. She opens one eye experimentally to see where she is.
NO COPY
6 - Halley puts the cylindrical device on the table. It projects a small holographic image of her holding the position from panel 3 and 5, as if the moment is frozen in time (the holographic is, of course, green).
HALLEY: Shit.
7 - Reveal panel. Halley is in a large warehouse filled with tables. Said tables are covered in loads of these cylindrical devices, each one projecting a different green holographic image above. Halley stands at the back, dwarfed by this large room.
HALLEY: What do I keep doing wrong?
Sunday, October 9, 2016
InkTober - Be True
1 - Night time. Outside a drinking establishment of some variety. Jackson smashes through the bar's window, flying out into the rainy street.
CAPTION (JACKSON): I've often heard say that people are their own worst enemy.
SFX: krssh!
2 - Jackson lies on the ground in considerable pain, eyes shut. He has various cuts from the glass and bruises from the in-progress fight that sent him through it. Maybe have some type of light on him (under a street light perhaps?)
JACKSON (weakly): ohh...
3 - Similar as panel 2, but a shadow falls over Jackson from someone standing at his feet and looming over him (but said person is not visible).
JACKSON (weakly): mercy...
4 - A hand from the looming figure reaches down and grabs Jackson by the hair / head and starts pulling him up. The rest of the figure remains obscured.
OFF-PANEL FIGURE: Mercy?
5 - Reveal that the other figure is a man who looks identical to Jackson. He might even be wearing the same clothing or something very similar (although it's in better condition than our initial Jackson, of course). Other Jackson lifts initial Jackson over his head, ready to slam him into the ground. Initial Jackson looks pretty out of it.
OTHER JACKSON: Speak for yourself.
CAPTION (JACKSON): But this seems a little much.
CAPTION (JACKSON): I've often heard say that people are their own worst enemy.
SFX: krssh!
2 - Jackson lies on the ground in considerable pain, eyes shut. He has various cuts from the glass and bruises from the in-progress fight that sent him through it. Maybe have some type of light on him (under a street light perhaps?)
JACKSON (weakly): ohh...
3 - Similar as panel 2, but a shadow falls over Jackson from someone standing at his feet and looming over him (but said person is not visible).
JACKSON (weakly): mercy...
4 - A hand from the looming figure reaches down and grabs Jackson by the hair / head and starts pulling him up. The rest of the figure remains obscured.
OFF-PANEL FIGURE: Mercy?
5 - Reveal that the other figure is a man who looks identical to Jackson. He might even be wearing the same clothing or something very similar (although it's in better condition than our initial Jackson, of course). Other Jackson lifts initial Jackson over his head, ready to slam him into the ground. Initial Jackson looks pretty out of it.
OTHER JACKSON: Speak for yourself.
CAPTION (JACKSON): But this seems a little much.
Saturday, October 8, 2016
InkTober - Place Your Bets
Hank has gone through hell the last few hours. He's finally made it to his intended destination: the casino.
1 - On Hank's feet as he walks through the casino. He's missing a shoe and the revealed sock has a hole in the toe. His other shoe is a quality wingtip, although it looks a little worse for wear. His dress pants are dirtied - it's unclear if it's blood or mud. There shouldn't be any other feet visible in this panel, although maybe some base of slot machines and chairs next to them, if desired.
NO COPY
2 - On Hank's face. One eye is swollen shut. He's covered in cuts and bruises, including an open cut from his lip. In spite of all this, he wears a look of determination.
NO COPY
3 - Full-body shot of Hank from behind. He's not wearing a jacket and his dress shirt has a sleeve that is mostly gone or clear ripped off (but still hanging at the base of his arm, if the latter). His shirt is scuffed and pocked with blood, whether it's Hank's or someone else's is unclear. He carries a duffel bag at his side, the strap over his shoulder (the one that is still sleeved). The bag's contents should not be visible. If there are other people on panel, they look in shock at this wreck of a man.
NO COPY
4 - Hank comes up to a roulette table and drops the duffel bag on top with a "whump!", that same determination from panel 2 on his face. The people around the table all look shocked. In spite of all the wear he's taken, his tie seems to be well in place and still tight to his neck.
SFX: whump!
5 - Top down shot, focusing on the duffel bag on one side, sitting on top of the roulette betting area, and the roulette wheel, spinning, on the other. The bag's flap has slipped off, revealing the bag is filled with all manner of money, jewels, and other items of value.
HANK: All on red.
1 - On Hank's feet as he walks through the casino. He's missing a shoe and the revealed sock has a hole in the toe. His other shoe is a quality wingtip, although it looks a little worse for wear. His dress pants are dirtied - it's unclear if it's blood or mud. There shouldn't be any other feet visible in this panel, although maybe some base of slot machines and chairs next to them, if desired.
NO COPY
2 - On Hank's face. One eye is swollen shut. He's covered in cuts and bruises, including an open cut from his lip. In spite of all this, he wears a look of determination.
NO COPY
3 - Full-body shot of Hank from behind. He's not wearing a jacket and his dress shirt has a sleeve that is mostly gone or clear ripped off (but still hanging at the base of his arm, if the latter). His shirt is scuffed and pocked with blood, whether it's Hank's or someone else's is unclear. He carries a duffel bag at his side, the strap over his shoulder (the one that is still sleeved). The bag's contents should not be visible. If there are other people on panel, they look in shock at this wreck of a man.
NO COPY
4 - Hank comes up to a roulette table and drops the duffel bag on top with a "whump!", that same determination from panel 2 on his face. The people around the table all look shocked. In spite of all the wear he's taken, his tie seems to be well in place and still tight to his neck.
SFX: whump!
5 - Top down shot, focusing on the duffel bag on one side, sitting on top of the roulette betting area, and the roulette wheel, spinning, on the other. The bag's flap has slipped off, revealing the bag is filled with all manner of money, jewels, and other items of value.
HANK: All on red.
Friday, October 7, 2016
InkTober - Car Troubles
1 - Russ and Lexi sit in the front of a car, driving. Lexi is at at the wheel; Russ in the passenger seat. Both look kind of annoyed and / or perturbed at the sounds coming from their car.
SFX: whump! whump! whump!
2 - Repeat panel 1. Russ turns to Lexi.
RUSS: Would you please do something about that?
3 - On the car's brake light, lit bright red to indicate the car is stopping.
LEXI (off-panel): Fine.
4 - The car is stopped. Lexi stands at the back of the vehicle. The trunk is open and Oscar, the man Lexi and Russ have bound and confined to the trunk is visible. However, things are not going well for him, as Lexi slams a tire iron into his face.
SFX: smak!
5 - On the car peeling out from its temporary stop on the road's shoulder, the trunk once again closed.
NO COPY
6 - A panel similar to panels 1 and 2. Lexi looks smug and satisfied. Russ looks pleased.
LEXI: Better?
RUSS: Much.
SFX: whump! whump! whump!
2 - Repeat panel 1. Russ turns to Lexi.
RUSS: Would you please do something about that?
3 - On the car's brake light, lit bright red to indicate the car is stopping.
LEXI (off-panel): Fine.
4 - The car is stopped. Lexi stands at the back of the vehicle. The trunk is open and Oscar, the man Lexi and Russ have bound and confined to the trunk is visible. However, things are not going well for him, as Lexi slams a tire iron into his face.
SFX: smak!
5 - On the car peeling out from its temporary stop on the road's shoulder, the trunk once again closed.
NO COPY
6 - A panel similar to panels 1 and 2. Lexi looks smug and satisfied. Russ looks pleased.
LEXI: Better?
RUSS: Much.
Thursday, October 6, 2016
InkTober - Backfire
1 - Janse is walking along the sidewalk in a rough looking part of town. It's early evening. There doesn't look to be anyone else about. Janse has his eyes forward.
CAPTION (JANSE): People always say I have a good heart.
DALTON (off-panel, weakly): ugggh...
2 - Looking over Janse's shoulder as he looks into the alley next to him. Dalton lies in a pile of garbage on the ground, looking as if he's been beaten up.
CAPTION (JANSE): That I'm trusting type.
DALTON (weakly): help... me--
3 - Janse has come into the alley and crouches near Dalton. Janse has one hand behind his back. Dalton is lying in a position where he has one hand near his body.
CAPTION JANSE): The kind of guy who goes out of his way to help others.
4 - Tight on Dalton's hand pulling a knife.
NO COPY
5 - Tight on Janse's hand pulling a gun.
NO COPY
6 - Janse crouches with a gun drawn and pointed at Dalton. Dalton puts his arms up and drops the knife, the facade of being hurt replaced by fear.
JANSE: Drop it.
7 - Janse slams the butt of his gun across Dalton's face.
SFX: whump!
JANSE: Bitch.
8 - Janse walks out of the alley, throwing Dalton's wallet over his shoulder and pocketing the money that was within.
CAPTION (JANSE): Joke's on them.
CAPTION (JANSE): People always say I have a good heart.
DALTON (off-panel, weakly): ugggh...
2 - Looking over Janse's shoulder as he looks into the alley next to him. Dalton lies in a pile of garbage on the ground, looking as if he's been beaten up.
CAPTION (JANSE): That I'm trusting type.
DALTON (weakly): help... me--
3 - Janse has come into the alley and crouches near Dalton. Janse has one hand behind his back. Dalton is lying in a position where he has one hand near his body.
CAPTION JANSE): The kind of guy who goes out of his way to help others.
4 - Tight on Dalton's hand pulling a knife.
NO COPY
5 - Tight on Janse's hand pulling a gun.
NO COPY
6 - Janse crouches with a gun drawn and pointed at Dalton. Dalton puts his arms up and drops the knife, the facade of being hurt replaced by fear.
JANSE: Drop it.
7 - Janse slams the butt of his gun across Dalton's face.
SFX: whump!
JANSE: Bitch.
8 - Janse walks out of the alley, throwing Dalton's wallet over his shoulder and pocketing the money that was within.
CAPTION (JANSE): Joke's on them.
Wednesday, October 5, 2016
InkTober - Good Samaritan
1 - Close on one of those up / down arrow signs above an elevator. The red down arrow is light up.
SFX: ding!
2 - In the elevator, put arm up to hold door and look out based on someone yelling. Said yelling person is a woman rounding the corner, running towards the elevator in a big hurry. She's holding a bag, although it might not be visible in this panel.
WOMAN: Hold the elevator!
3 - The woman is now in the elevator and is pushing the close button repeatedly. The man smiles at her rush. They are framed by the elevator doors (which are probably starting to close).
MAN: You're in quite the rush--
4 - Reverse angle, now inside the elevator. From this angle, it's clear that the woman has a pistol tucked into the back of her pants' waistband. Also, if possible, show that her bag is stuffed / overflowing with hospital supplies. Part of me is thinking stethoscopes, bandaids, and maybe needles, but I have to admit that pills would probably make a lot more sense (although something like morphine could fit the bill, too). The man certainly notices the former and possibly the latter. Either way, his smile fades. She looks over, awkwardly realizing what's happened.
MAN (trailing off): ...aren't you.
5 - Still in the elevator, the two look at each other awkwardly. The woman pulls down her shirt to better hide the gun.
NO COPY
6 - Repeat panel 5.
MAN: Did you just rob a hospital?
SFX: ding!
2 - In the elevator, put arm up to hold door and look out based on someone yelling. Said yelling person is a woman rounding the corner, running towards the elevator in a big hurry. She's holding a bag, although it might not be visible in this panel.
WOMAN: Hold the elevator!
3 - The woman is now in the elevator and is pushing the close button repeatedly. The man smiles at her rush. They are framed by the elevator doors (which are probably starting to close).
MAN: You're in quite the rush--
4 - Reverse angle, now inside the elevator. From this angle, it's clear that the woman has a pistol tucked into the back of her pants' waistband. Also, if possible, show that her bag is stuffed / overflowing with hospital supplies. Part of me is thinking stethoscopes, bandaids, and maybe needles, but I have to admit that pills would probably make a lot more sense (although something like morphine could fit the bill, too). The man certainly notices the former and possibly the latter. Either way, his smile fades. She looks over, awkwardly realizing what's happened.
MAN (trailing off): ...aren't you.
5 - Still in the elevator, the two look at each other awkwardly. The woman pulls down her shirt to better hide the gun.
NO COPY
6 - Repeat panel 5.
MAN: Did you just rob a hospital?
Tuesday, October 4, 2016
InkTober - Deadlines
1 - Kim, the owner of a convenience store, stands behind the cash register counter, horrified. He nervously runs a hand through his hair, processing what he's just realized. Jeff, a friend of Kim's stands on the other side of the counter, looking concerned but also a little annoyed, like this might not be the first time they've had this type of conversation.
KIM: Oh, Jesus. I forgot to get the money together for Terence's pickup!
JEFF: So? You've been paying on time for years! Is it really that big of a deal if you're late once?
2 - Kim shrinks into himself a little, visibly disturbed at the suggestion of paying late. Jeff is more glib; he's moved around behind the counter and slaps a friendly hand on Kim's shoulder.
KIM (quietly): I don't think Terence would appreciate that...
JEFF (1): Oh, come on! He's big and scary, but he's not a monster!
JEFF (2): I'm sure he'll understand!
3 - Close on Jeff and Kim. Jeff gives Kim a mockingly conspiratorial nudge, leaning in close as if to whisper a secret.
JEFF: Pobody's nerfect, right?
SFX: ding!
4 - Terence has now joined Kim and Jeff at the cash register counter. Terence is big - tall, wide, and muscular, it's not a surprise why Kim is scared of the guy. Jeff has come from behind the counter and acts as if he and Terence are old friends, putting a hand on his shoulder and the like as he talks. Terence wears a neutral expression (although his neutral face may look kinda angry).
JEFF (1): Terry!
JEFF (2): So good to see you!
TERENCE (1): Money.
TERENCE (2): Where is it.
5 - Jeff is taken aback at how grossly his charm offensive is failing. On the figurative (and perhaps literal) backfoot, Jeff suddenly looks a lot more nervous, running a hand through his hair as Kim did back in panel 2. Terence's expression does not change.
JEFF: Well, it's a funny story real--
6 - Smash cut to Terence on top of the convenience store's roof, holding a very panicked Jeff over the edge with one arm (dude's strong enough where that isn't a big deal). Jeff tries to get some purchase on Terence's arm to keep himself up, while looking down worriedly towards the street below. Kim is in the background, trying to wrestle Terence back, to little avail.
TERENCE: Where's Pobody?
JEFF: I think you misunderstood...
Monday, October 3, 2016
InkTober - Albatross
1 - Malcolm McCoy and his boss are security guards at a museum. They're in the monitor room, watching the feeds of the various cameras. Malcolm is up and putting on his jacket, a cigarette behind his ear. His boss looks over, annoyed. Malcolm tries to hide his frustration.
BOSS: Where you going?
MALCOLM: Smoke.
BOSS: Be quick about it, McCoy.
CAPTION (MALCOLM): My boss is a dick.
2 - Malcolm stands outside one of the museum's rear doors, smoking. It's nighttime in the middle of winter and Malcolm hugs his arms to try to eke out a bit more warmth. Malcolm maintains the neutral expression. The rear door remains open.
JENKINS (off-panel): Right on time.
CAPTION (MALCOLM): The hours suck.
3 - Jenkins and two thugs approach Malcolm. The thugs walk past and head into the museum. Jenkins pauses, slipping a wad of cash into Malcolm's front pocket with one hand and slapping him on the back with the other, a conspirational look on his face. Malcolm remains neutral.
JENKINS: We good to go?
MALCOLM: Door's open, isn't it?
CAPTION (MALCOLM): Pay's worse.
4 - Jenkins walks past, drawing his gun that is tucked into the back of his pants' waistband.
JENKINS: That it is.
CAPTION (MALCOLM): This should be more than enough to take the cash and make myself scarce.
5 - Wide angle on Malcolm standing outside, hugging himself for warmth, the cigarette nearing its end. He looks down to the ground, his face possibly obscured.
MALCOLM: Shit.
6 - Malcolm turns and walks into the door after the three, throwing the cigarette down.
CAPTION (MALCOLM): And yet.
BOSS: Where you going?
MALCOLM: Smoke.
BOSS: Be quick about it, McCoy.
CAPTION (MALCOLM): My boss is a dick.
2 - Malcolm stands outside one of the museum's rear doors, smoking. It's nighttime in the middle of winter and Malcolm hugs his arms to try to eke out a bit more warmth. Malcolm maintains the neutral expression. The rear door remains open.
JENKINS (off-panel): Right on time.
CAPTION (MALCOLM): The hours suck.
3 - Jenkins and two thugs approach Malcolm. The thugs walk past and head into the museum. Jenkins pauses, slipping a wad of cash into Malcolm's front pocket with one hand and slapping him on the back with the other, a conspirational look on his face. Malcolm remains neutral.
JENKINS: We good to go?
MALCOLM: Door's open, isn't it?
CAPTION (MALCOLM): Pay's worse.
4 - Jenkins walks past, drawing his gun that is tucked into the back of his pants' waistband.
JENKINS: That it is.
CAPTION (MALCOLM): This should be more than enough to take the cash and make myself scarce.
5 - Wide angle on Malcolm standing outside, hugging himself for warmth, the cigarette nearing its end. He looks down to the ground, his face possibly obscured.
MALCOLM: Shit.
6 - Malcolm turns and walks into the door after the three, throwing the cigarette down.
CAPTION (MALCOLM): And yet.
Sunday, October 2, 2016
InkTober - Bet the Farm
1 - Hank and Larry stand in a doorway of a barn, looking inside (and towards the reader). Larry points proudly towards the barn's interior. Hank looks confused.
LARRY (1): There he is.
LARRY (2): Pay dirt.
2 - Hank lowers his head and pinches the bridge of his nose in disbelief / frustration. Larry looks at Hank, confused.
HANK: Are you serious?
LARRY: What?
3 - Hank grabs Larry by the shirt and shakes him a bit. Larry tries to shake Hank off, while again pointing towards the reader. He reacts as if what Hank is saying could not be more obvious.
HANK: You said we were going to be kidnappers!
LARRY: Yeah?
4 - Switch focus. On a baby goat hiding behind his mother in the barn, illuminated by the flashlight beams. Both look kind of scared.
HANK (off-panel, tailless): You'll forgive me, Larry, if I was expecting something else.
LARRY (1): There he is.
LARRY (2): Pay dirt.
2 - Hank lowers his head and pinches the bridge of his nose in disbelief / frustration. Larry looks at Hank, confused.
HANK: Are you serious?
LARRY: What?
3 - Hank grabs Larry by the shirt and shakes him a bit. Larry tries to shake Hank off, while again pointing towards the reader. He reacts as if what Hank is saying could not be more obvious.
HANK: You said we were going to be kidnappers!
LARRY: Yeah?
4 - Switch focus. On a baby goat hiding behind his mother in the barn, illuminated by the flashlight beams. Both look kind of scared.
HANK (off-panel, tailless): You'll forgive me, Larry, if I was expecting something else.
Saturday, October 1, 2016
InkTober - Miscalculation
1 - A car has crashed off the side of a lonely country road in the middle of the night. The trunk is open, as are the driver and passenger doors. No one is visible. A line of trees is visible in the background.
NO COPY
2 - Within the forest, there are signs that a number of people have hastily moved through this area - broken branches, muddy tracks, and evidence of slipping and tripping. Once again, no one is visible.
NO COPY
3 - On an open briefcase sitting on the ground, overflowing with money. Some of it is in the mud, other bills have mud on them. There is a handcuff link around the briefcase's handle, the chain leading off-panel.
NO COPY
4 - On the opposite handcuff link, which is around a man's wrist (also lying in the mud). Not much more than the hand and wrist are visible, but it's clear the man is wearing a suit and that he has taken some injuries (cuts and bruises, etc).
NO COPY
5 - Reveal. The man who is handcuffed to the suitcase of money is lying dead in a forest. The cuts and bruises on the hand were just the beginning, as this guy was in sorry shape, but it's not exactly clear what the cause of death was. Two crooks, both wearing rumpled suits (with evidence of mud on their knees, elbows, and the like from the chase), stand on either side of the dead man, staring down at his body. Their expressions are somewhere between neutral and shocked.
NO COPY
6 - Repeat panel. The crooks look up and lock eyes with each other, angry. The yell and gesticulate at each other. They speak the same words to each other.
BOTH: This is all your fault!
NO COPY
2 - Within the forest, there are signs that a number of people have hastily moved through this area - broken branches, muddy tracks, and evidence of slipping and tripping. Once again, no one is visible.
NO COPY
3 - On an open briefcase sitting on the ground, overflowing with money. Some of it is in the mud, other bills have mud on them. There is a handcuff link around the briefcase's handle, the chain leading off-panel.
NO COPY
4 - On the opposite handcuff link, which is around a man's wrist (also lying in the mud). Not much more than the hand and wrist are visible, but it's clear the man is wearing a suit and that he has taken some injuries (cuts and bruises, etc).
NO COPY
5 - Reveal. The man who is handcuffed to the suitcase of money is lying dead in a forest. The cuts and bruises on the hand were just the beginning, as this guy was in sorry shape, but it's not exactly clear what the cause of death was. Two crooks, both wearing rumpled suits (with evidence of mud on their knees, elbows, and the like from the chase), stand on either side of the dead man, staring down at his body. Their expressions are somewhere between neutral and shocked.
NO COPY
6 - Repeat panel. The crooks look up and lock eyes with each other, angry. The yell and gesticulate at each other. They speak the same words to each other.
BOTH: This is all your fault!
Thursday, August 11, 2016
Think of a City - Climate Change
I am in love with that warm, rich sky that looks down upon James Romberger's 064. It stands in such beautiful contrast to the faded reality in the city below. But while the city and its colours are run-down, the people within are anything but. There is a clear society that has risen (is trying to rise) out of whatever unfortunate events that led to this image's present, which is a testament to the many, many details that Romberger has packed into this wonderful piece.
1 - An establishing shot of a burned out, husk of a city, not unlike Mr. Romberger's 064. It's late afternoonish. Summertime. We're focused on an empty street, empty, crumbling buildings on either side. There are some figures in the distance, but they're too far to really make out what they're up to (that's for panel 2).
CAPTION: What is humanity's greatest strength?
2 - Closer in on those figures from panel 1. It's a group of children who look happy and healthy. Their clothes may be worn, but it's from use, not neglect. And they're all playing a game that looks like stickball in the street. Let's focus on the pitcher as they toss a ball towards the batter. All the kids' attention is on this moment.
CAPTION: One of them must be our ability to live through and normalize even the most drastic of conditions.
3 - Repeat panel 2, but a loud shout from off-panel causes all the children to look over in surprise, forgetting their game (indeed, the ball might even be flying over the catcher's head, as they aren't look and the batter forgot to swing).
SHOUT (from off-panel): HEY!
4 - Switch focus to a group of three or four, all wearing matching armour that could charitably be described as riot gear on steroids, with shields and weapons openly displayed at the ready. These are the Ordermakers. While it might not be possible to read them, their shields all have "ORDER" written across them in intimidating script. Their leader barks out orders.
ORDERMAKER: This is an unauthorized gathering! By order of the High Dynast, you must return to your homes or you will be Sequestered.
CAPTION: Unfortunately...
5 - The kids begin to disperse. Perhaps focus in on a couple of them, dejectedly scuffing the ground with their shoes as they walk off. It is clear from their reactions that they are unphased by the open display of force and weapons; they're merely disappointed that their game has to end.
KID: Lousy Ordermarkers. Always ruin our fun.
CAPTION: It can also be our greatest weakness.
1 - An establishing shot of a burned out, husk of a city, not unlike Mr. Romberger's 064. It's late afternoonish. Summertime. We're focused on an empty street, empty, crumbling buildings on either side. There are some figures in the distance, but they're too far to really make out what they're up to (that's for panel 2).
CAPTION: What is humanity's greatest strength?
2 - Closer in on those figures from panel 1. It's a group of children who look happy and healthy. Their clothes may be worn, but it's from use, not neglect. And they're all playing a game that looks like stickball in the street. Let's focus on the pitcher as they toss a ball towards the batter. All the kids' attention is on this moment.
CAPTION: One of them must be our ability to live through and normalize even the most drastic of conditions.
3 - Repeat panel 2, but a loud shout from off-panel causes all the children to look over in surprise, forgetting their game (indeed, the ball might even be flying over the catcher's head, as they aren't look and the batter forgot to swing).
SHOUT (from off-panel): HEY!
4 - Switch focus to a group of three or four, all wearing matching armour that could charitably be described as riot gear on steroids, with shields and weapons openly displayed at the ready. These are the Ordermakers. While it might not be possible to read them, their shields all have "ORDER" written across them in intimidating script. Their leader barks out orders.
ORDERMAKER: This is an unauthorized gathering! By order of the High Dynast, you must return to your homes or you will be Sequestered.
CAPTION: Unfortunately...
5 - The kids begin to disperse. Perhaps focus in on a couple of them, dejectedly scuffing the ground with their shoes as they walk off. It is clear from their reactions that they are unphased by the open display of force and weapons; they're merely disappointed that their game has to end.
KID: Lousy Ordermarkers. Always ruin our fun.
CAPTION: It can also be our greatest weakness.
Sunday, July 31, 2016
Think of a City - Thicker Than Water
Is Tait Howard's 063 enough to make graveyard's a Think of a City motif? It might be a bit too early to make that assertion, but it is always fascinating to see artists and pieces circle back to elements that have come before. A few degrees removed from 057, it's neat to have a second dally about an idea and to come to such a different result.
1 - Establishing shot on a big and old Victorian house at night. An ongoing column of unholy energy has blown a hole through the house's roof and rises into an equally unholy rend in the sky.
PATRICK (from within): Are you sure this will fix whatever they've started?
2 - Inside the house. Ella and Patrick stand in an attic, a little worse for wear. There's a pentagram painted on the floor, the column of unholy energy rising above it. A number of beaten and unconscious masked cultists are lying on the ground. Patrick looks in surprise and frustration at Ella; Ella shrugs her shoulders defensively, holding a small cooler in one hand. There should be a table of some variety visible for the action in the next panel. The column of energy is still pulsing, giving a sickly light to the scene and maybe kicking up some wind / force of some nature.
ELLA: I'm at, like, 70% confidence?
PATRICK: What.
ELLA (1): Ritual magic isn't an exact science!
ELLA (2): I mean, it's right there in the name.
3 - Ella places the cooler on the table and opens it. She and Patrick stand in front, looking into the contents. This is framed so the reader cannot yet see what's inside. It could also be done so the column can be visible in the background.
ELLA: But none of the rites specifically call for human sacrifice.
4 - On the cooler, which is filled with blood packs / transfusion bags. Ella might be pulling out a bag, all the better for the reader to see it.
ELLA (tailless): Just human blood.
1 - Establishing shot on a big and old Victorian house at night. An ongoing column of unholy energy has blown a hole through the house's roof and rises into an equally unholy rend in the sky.
PATRICK (from within): Are you sure this will fix whatever they've started?
2 - Inside the house. Ella and Patrick stand in an attic, a little worse for wear. There's a pentagram painted on the floor, the column of unholy energy rising above it. A number of beaten and unconscious masked cultists are lying on the ground. Patrick looks in surprise and frustration at Ella; Ella shrugs her shoulders defensively, holding a small cooler in one hand. There should be a table of some variety visible for the action in the next panel. The column of energy is still pulsing, giving a sickly light to the scene and maybe kicking up some wind / force of some nature.
ELLA: I'm at, like, 70% confidence?
PATRICK: What.
ELLA (1): Ritual magic isn't an exact science!
ELLA (2): I mean, it's right there in the name.
3 - Ella places the cooler on the table and opens it. She and Patrick stand in front, looking into the contents. This is framed so the reader cannot yet see what's inside. It could also be done so the column can be visible in the background.
ELLA: But none of the rites specifically call for human sacrifice.
4 - On the cooler, which is filled with blood packs / transfusion bags. Ella might be pulling out a bag, all the better for the reader to see it.
ELLA (tailless): Just human blood.
Saturday, July 30, 2016
Think of a City - Rose-Coloured
Wow. I've been looking and looking, and while I love what I'm seeing, I don't know that I could tell you what's actually going on in Max Fiumara's 062. It reminds me of the movement between 032 and 033, with the transition of one piece's element to the next, but whereas that one was a more straightforward recycling of the image, Fiumara takes it a step further, taking the shape of the neon outline from the previous piece and using it for a very different and new effect in this chaotic scene. And once again, I missed the decision entirely my first time through - really appreciate the attention to detail.
1 - Lissa dives through the air, spearing Jack in the middle to push him out of the way of an unseen attacker. The ground where Jack had been standing a moment before explodes as if it's been slammed by some large and powerful blunt force. If possible, have a pair of red-rimmed, rose-lensed glasses falling from Lissa's person as she flies through the air.
LISSA: Move!
2 - Lissa and Jack are splayed out on the ground. Jack is still stunned from the sudden spill; Lissa is a bit fast on the uptake, frantically pats herself down, eyes wide in terror as she cannot find the glasses.
JACK: W-what happened?
LISSA: No, no, no.
3 - On the glasses, lying on the ground. Lissa and Jack are in the background. Jack has gotten up to a sitting position with one hand on his head, looking confused. Lissa continues to search desperately, looking in the wrong direction.
LISSA: Where are my glasses?
4 - Repeat panel, but the glasses are crushed, as if an invisible foot is stepping on them. The foot, like the blow from panel 1, is heavy enough to crater the ground. Lissa still hasn't found the glasses; Jack could be looking in the right direction, terror on his face as he sees the evidence of the invisible attackers.
LISSA: I can't see them without my glasses!
SFX: krak!
1 - Lissa dives through the air, spearing Jack in the middle to push him out of the way of an unseen attacker. The ground where Jack had been standing a moment before explodes as if it's been slammed by some large and powerful blunt force. If possible, have a pair of red-rimmed, rose-lensed glasses falling from Lissa's person as she flies through the air.
LISSA: Move!
2 - Lissa and Jack are splayed out on the ground. Jack is still stunned from the sudden spill; Lissa is a bit fast on the uptake, frantically pats herself down, eyes wide in terror as she cannot find the glasses.
JACK: W-what happened?
LISSA: No, no, no.
3 - On the glasses, lying on the ground. Lissa and Jack are in the background. Jack has gotten up to a sitting position with one hand on his head, looking confused. Lissa continues to search desperately, looking in the wrong direction.
LISSA: Where are my glasses?
4 - Repeat panel, but the glasses are crushed, as if an invisible foot is stepping on them. The foot, like the blow from panel 1, is heavy enough to crater the ground. Lissa still hasn't found the glasses; Jack could be looking in the right direction, terror on his face as he sees the evidence of the invisible attackers.
LISSA: I can't see them without my glasses!
SFX: krak!
Friday, July 29, 2016
Think of a City - Rain Cheque
I love the major colour palette shift Seth Lochhead and Owen Freeman throw down in 061 compared to the last few pieces. The various shades of blue grab the eye and develop all kinds of atmosphere all at once, and I adore the way they sneak in the red from 060 in the refraction of the glass tube / column. That it hides a seem that initially appears to be amorous but is quickly revealed to be far more nefarious under closer scrutiny is yet another bonus. Anyone familiar with Think of a City will not be surprised at the level of talent on display. What's more notable is how impressive it remains, 60+ pieces in.
1 - We're in the downtown core of a major metropolis. Neon bright in the night, shining out against the rain. On Vince as he runs through the downpour, his jacket up over his head in a futile attempt to keep some small part of himself dry.
NO COPY
2 - Vince has found some shelter from the storm, standing just out of the rain with his hands on his knees trying to regain his breath. Frame from within the shelter, so its actual depth is unclear.
SFX (VINCE): *huff! puff!*
VOICE: mmf!
3 - Vince turns towards the sound from off-panel, freezing in terror at what he sees.
VINCE: Sorry, I didn't realize--
4 - Back on the city streets, Vince is running full out, jacket and wish to be dry forgotten.
NO COPY
5 - Back in the alcove, reveal two vampires who are in the process of draining the life from a poor innocent. They look mostly human, except for the fangs, red eyes, and of course the blood all over them. They've paused in their feeding. One looks to the other in confusion; the second only shrugs their shoulders.
VAMPIRE: What's eating him?
1 - We're in the downtown core of a major metropolis. Neon bright in the night, shining out against the rain. On Vince as he runs through the downpour, his jacket up over his head in a futile attempt to keep some small part of himself dry.
NO COPY
2 - Vince has found some shelter from the storm, standing just out of the rain with his hands on his knees trying to regain his breath. Frame from within the shelter, so its actual depth is unclear.
SFX (VINCE): *huff! puff!*
VOICE: mmf!
3 - Vince turns towards the sound from off-panel, freezing in terror at what he sees.
VINCE: Sorry, I didn't realize--
4 - Back on the city streets, Vince is running full out, jacket and wish to be dry forgotten.
NO COPY
5 - Back in the alcove, reveal two vampires who are in the process of draining the life from a poor innocent. They look mostly human, except for the fangs, red eyes, and of course the blood all over them. They've paused in their feeding. One looks to the other in confusion; the second only shrugs their shoulders.
VAMPIRE: What's eating him?
Wednesday, July 27, 2016
Think of a City - Silent As
I'm pleased as punch to have built up a little backlog of Think of a City pieces to work through. I'm obviously always thrilled to wait and check out the latest entries as they're released, but I find going through a number of them in quick succession gives a different perspective on the project and can allow for a clearer view of the overall ebb and flow. For example, the haunting 060 by Monica Richards, in the context of the past three or four pieces, seems to be rather strong evidence that cats are becoming a new motif, like dinosaurs and motorcycles before them. And I'd say cemeteries might be entering that same category, but I might be getting ahead of myself...
1 - Establishing shot of a long abandoned city street, looking down with a bird's eye view. A lone figure dressed in a long trench-coat, and a hat and sunglasses that cover their face, walks down what was once a busy street. Now, there are the remains of a few skeleton's of cars, badly cracked pavement, and lots of overgrown vegetation. The lone figure is the panel's primary focus, but they are small amid the large, empty city.
CAPTION (FIGURE): It's amazing how quickly the city became a graveyard.
2 - Close on the figure as they pass by one of the car skeletons, looking towards it curiously. Perhaps frame so that the car's window frame's the figure (or the figure's face).
NO COPY
3 - The figure walks on down the street, looking over towards a sound coming from an alley off-panel.
SFX: maor!
CAPTION (FIGURE): Of course...
4 - On the alley where the sound emerged from. A momma cat is looking after her litter of kittens - perhaps carrying one by the scruff of their neck in her mouth as she returns it to the rest of its siblings. The figure stands in the foreground, back to the reader, hand on an alley wall, watching the scene.
CAPTION (FIGURE): Even graveyards have their share of life.
1 - Establishing shot of a long abandoned city street, looking down with a bird's eye view. A lone figure dressed in a long trench-coat, and a hat and sunglasses that cover their face, walks down what was once a busy street. Now, there are the remains of a few skeleton's of cars, badly cracked pavement, and lots of overgrown vegetation. The lone figure is the panel's primary focus, but they are small amid the large, empty city.
CAPTION (FIGURE): It's amazing how quickly the city became a graveyard.
2 - Close on the figure as they pass by one of the car skeletons, looking towards it curiously. Perhaps frame so that the car's window frame's the figure (or the figure's face).
NO COPY
3 - The figure walks on down the street, looking over towards a sound coming from an alley off-panel.
SFX: maor!
CAPTION (FIGURE): Of course...
4 - On the alley where the sound emerged from. A momma cat is looking after her litter of kittens - perhaps carrying one by the scruff of their neck in her mouth as she returns it to the rest of its siblings. The figure stands in the foreground, back to the reader, hand on an alley wall, watching the scene.
CAPTION (FIGURE): Even graveyards have their share of life.
Tuesday, July 26, 2016
Think of a City - Forest for the Trees
I love the way each new Think of a City piece can delight and surprise. Robin Furth and Megan Hutchison's 059 is no exception to this rule, as it takes a pretty dramatic departure from the previous entry while still focusing in on a very real connection between the two. I also can't help but marvel at how dense this image is - looking over it, I was stunned at the many different levels and layers the two creators managed to pack in - I missed the cameo by 058's protagonist on first glance, for goodness sakes!
1 - Ariel and Eldar stand in a small clearing in a dark, malevolent-seeming forest. Ariel is poking through some shrubbery with her sword, seemingly searching for something. Eldar stands to the side, impatiently waiting.
ELDAR: Come along, Ariel. There's no time for skulking in the shrubbery.
2 - Eldar and Ariel walk on. Eldar looks pleased to be back on track, while Ariel continues to look back towards the clearing behind them, a look of unease on her face. She sheathes her sword.
ELDAR: And please put away your weapon. You know we want them to understand that we mean no harm.
ARIEL: Are you sure they feel the same way?
3 - Eldar and Ariel continue forward. Eldar remains oblivious to the obvious dangers that seem to be hiding behind every corner of this dark place. Ariel tries to remain vigilant, but is generally uncomfortable with the whole situation.
ELDAR: Of course!
4 - Back on the initial clearing of panel 1. Focus on some skeletal figures in abouts the shrubbery that Ariel was searching through. It is clear that the skeletal figures did not die of natural causes (perhaps scratch marks on the bones, for example). Ariel and Eldar are in the background, walking deeper into the dark forest.
ELDAR: What would make you think otherwise?
1 - Ariel and Eldar stand in a small clearing in a dark, malevolent-seeming forest. Ariel is poking through some shrubbery with her sword, seemingly searching for something. Eldar stands to the side, impatiently waiting.
ELDAR: Come along, Ariel. There's no time for skulking in the shrubbery.
2 - Eldar and Ariel walk on. Eldar looks pleased to be back on track, while Ariel continues to look back towards the clearing behind them, a look of unease on her face. She sheathes her sword.
ELDAR: And please put away your weapon. You know we want them to understand that we mean no harm.
ARIEL: Are you sure they feel the same way?
3 - Eldar and Ariel continue forward. Eldar remains oblivious to the obvious dangers that seem to be hiding behind every corner of this dark place. Ariel tries to remain vigilant, but is generally uncomfortable with the whole situation.
ELDAR: Of course!
4 - Back on the initial clearing of panel 1. Focus on some skeletal figures in abouts the shrubbery that Ariel was searching through. It is clear that the skeletal figures did not die of natural causes (perhaps scratch marks on the bones, for example). Ariel and Eldar are in the background, walking deeper into the dark forest.
ELDAR: What would make you think otherwise?
Monday, July 25, 2016
Think of a City - Music for the Soul
Even though they aren't all that related, in looking at Janet Lee's 058, I couldn't help but be reminded of William Gibson's Neuromancer. Specifically, the opening line: "The sky above the port was the color of television, tuned to a dead channel." The window we have into Lee's world is far more colourful than that, but the sky above nonetheless brought the quote to my mind. While I had a few other ideas of how to approach the piece, I felt that that was as good as any other. I hope you'll agree.
We open the page with only black and white for colours. As the panels progress, we'll add in a bit more colour.
1 - The business district of a large city. It's raining. Men and women in suits walk to and fro, presumably heading towards their offices. Everyone has an umbrella up against the percipitation, adding to the faceless aspect of the scene (the umbrellas could even be hiding their faces, if we'd like).
NO COPY
2 - At ground level, we see a young woman walking among the business folk. Shorter than the crowd, her small stature causes her to stand out. As does the guitar she has slung across her back. She is dressed in regular clothing - jean shorts, tshirt, and maybe a plaid flannel for good measure. Without an umbrella, she is wet from the rain, but does not seem to mind. No one seems to notice her.
COLOURING NOTE: This young woman should be in faded colours - it's not full technicolour, but she does stand out from the black and white around her.
NO COPY
3 - The young woman sits down at the edge of a fountain and starts tuning her guitar, paying no mind to the world around her, just as the world continues to ignore her. Perhaps one suit stops to notice the young woman.
COLOURING NOTE: The young woman should be in more regular, bright colours. If the one suit has stopped to watch, they may be in the faded colours the young woman was in the previous panel.
NO COPY
4 - The young woman begins to strum her guitar. A wave of music (for lack of a better term) rises from the guitar. The wave should be in colour, so anything encompassed within it would be in full, bright colours. More suits are stopping to watch. When they do, they lower their umbrellas, so their faces become visible.
COLOURING NOTE: As mentioned in the description, the wave of music should be in full colour. The suits who have stopped could either be faded colour, full colour, or somewhere in between.
NO COPY
5 - A circle of onlookers have formed around the young woman playing guitar. The suits have all lowered their umbrellas, smiling up to the raining sky as they sing along to the music. Maybe extend the wave of music circle to include everyone, or have small elements of the wave scattered about the panel to emphasize everyone being a part of the moment.
COLOURING NOTE: This panel should be in full colour. Indeed, it might even go beyond that, adding bright colours where there wouldn't actually be any in real life (such as rainbow coloured raindrops, etc - have fun with it).
NO COPY
We open the page with only black and white for colours. As the panels progress, we'll add in a bit more colour.
1 - The business district of a large city. It's raining. Men and women in suits walk to and fro, presumably heading towards their offices. Everyone has an umbrella up against the percipitation, adding to the faceless aspect of the scene (the umbrellas could even be hiding their faces, if we'd like).
NO COPY
2 - At ground level, we see a young woman walking among the business folk. Shorter than the crowd, her small stature causes her to stand out. As does the guitar she has slung across her back. She is dressed in regular clothing - jean shorts, tshirt, and maybe a plaid flannel for good measure. Without an umbrella, she is wet from the rain, but does not seem to mind. No one seems to notice her.
COLOURING NOTE: This young woman should be in faded colours - it's not full technicolour, but she does stand out from the black and white around her.
NO COPY
3 - The young woman sits down at the edge of a fountain and starts tuning her guitar, paying no mind to the world around her, just as the world continues to ignore her. Perhaps one suit stops to notice the young woman.
COLOURING NOTE: The young woman should be in more regular, bright colours. If the one suit has stopped to watch, they may be in the faded colours the young woman was in the previous panel.
NO COPY
4 - The young woman begins to strum her guitar. A wave of music (for lack of a better term) rises from the guitar. The wave should be in colour, so anything encompassed within it would be in full, bright colours. More suits are stopping to watch. When they do, they lower their umbrellas, so their faces become visible.
COLOURING NOTE: As mentioned in the description, the wave of music should be in full colour. The suits who have stopped could either be faded colour, full colour, or somewhere in between.
NO COPY
5 - A circle of onlookers have formed around the young woman playing guitar. The suits have all lowered their umbrellas, smiling up to the raining sky as they sing along to the music. Maybe extend the wave of music circle to include everyone, or have small elements of the wave scattered about the panel to emphasize everyone being a part of the moment.
COLOURING NOTE: This panel should be in full colour. Indeed, it might even go beyond that, adding bright colours where there wouldn't actually be any in real life (such as rainbow coloured raindrops, etc - have fun with it).
NO COPY
Sunday, July 3, 2016
Pets
1 - On a dog being lovingly petted by some woman. Said petting is either from the woman's perspective or at least framed so the woman's face is not on-panel. The focus is on the cute and excited dog who is loving life.
WOMAN: Who's a good boy?
CAPTION (LESTER): I've never understood the appeal of pets.
2 - The woman and a man look to be talking to each other (again, the panel is framed so we can't see their faces). The dog wanders off, walking towards the street.
MAN: So what are you doing later?
CAPTION (LESTER): What's so great about having some dumb animal follow you around?
3 - The dog is in the middle of the street and looks towards something terrifying off-panel (and directly towards the reader).
MAN (off-panel): Bandit?
CAPTION (LESTER): Who you have to look after?
4 - The dog is hit by a car. The impact is pretty big - the car clearly did not slow down. The car is a beat-up, old clunker.
SFX (car hitting dog): WHUMP!
CAPTION (LESTER): And whose messes you have to clean up?
5 - On Walter and Lester in the car. Lester hits Walter upside the back of the head. Lester looks angry; Walter looks contrite and sad.
LESTER: You idiot! Watch where you're driving!
SFX (hitting Walter): smak!
LESTER: No, don't stop.
6 - Establishing shot of the street. The car drives off, while the man (and possibly the woman) run towards the dog lying in the middle of the street.
LESTER (from within the car): We've got places to be.
MAN: Bandit!
CAPTION (LESTER): I have enough of that in my life already.
WOMAN: Who's a good boy?
CAPTION (LESTER): I've never understood the appeal of pets.
2 - The woman and a man look to be talking to each other (again, the panel is framed so we can't see their faces). The dog wanders off, walking towards the street.
MAN: So what are you doing later?
CAPTION (LESTER): What's so great about having some dumb animal follow you around?
3 - The dog is in the middle of the street and looks towards something terrifying off-panel (and directly towards the reader).
MAN (off-panel): Bandit?
CAPTION (LESTER): Who you have to look after?
4 - The dog is hit by a car. The impact is pretty big - the car clearly did not slow down. The car is a beat-up, old clunker.
SFX (car hitting dog): WHUMP!
CAPTION (LESTER): And whose messes you have to clean up?
5 - On Walter and Lester in the car. Lester hits Walter upside the back of the head. Lester looks angry; Walter looks contrite and sad.
LESTER: You idiot! Watch where you're driving!
SFX (hitting Walter): smak!
LESTER: No, don't stop.
6 - Establishing shot of the street. The car drives off, while the man (and possibly the woman) run towards the dog lying in the middle of the street.
LESTER (from within the car): We've got places to be.
MAN: Bandit!
CAPTION (LESTER): I have enough of that in my life already.
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